Coming back to your roots

"Wait-Kanon..."

Kanon still went on, he was answering the question but avoiding it at the same time... And when he walked away, that hurt worse than his half truth... He felt... abandoned almost. With a sigh he walked home, he didn't know what movies were out... he just wanted to be with Kanon. But there were things in the way, soccer and Maya. Both were easy fixes.

When he got home, he called the coach, telling him what had happened before letting him know he was giving up his field position and captain title to Kanon. He was gonna have to sit out a few games... and it might even result in him quitting, but Kanon earned it. He'd worked for years for it and it wasn't fair for him to come in and steal it. Maya however was tricky, sorta easy, he just needed Kanon. That was gonna be the hard part...

Miku sent Kanon the text to meet him at the theater. He knew though that the coach was already going to have called Kanon, and that Kanon would probably be mad at him, but he wanted to make things normal between them... He hated how things were right now.

The coach called him telling him what Miku had done. Kanon refused it though. Miku wasn't going to give up those spots. Kanon was going to earn them from him. It wasn't right if they were just handed to him. When he met Miku at the theater he was fuming.

"How dare you?! Do you know what I would give for the positions you have? And you're just giving them up!? I won't take them. Not like that. It's not right. I won't have earned them if you just give them to me! You're staying on the team. You're still the starting forward and the captain. I won't take them. I want voted captain. I want the team to want me to be captain. And I want to earn back my position by playing well. I won't have if you just let me have them. If you thought it would make things better you're wrong. You are one of the best players around. Take some pride in the fact they wanted you as the captain. And you're a better forward player then I am...for now at least."

"You have earned them! It's not fair that I can just move here and steal that away from you!" Kanon was mad, and he partially expected it. "I'm sorry... I insulted you... It wasn't my intention, I just... Dammit Kanon it's bullshit! I didn't join the team so our friendship could crumble or some arrogant jackass could try to rape me!"

They were getting a few stares now... Miku was feeling oddly exposed now... "Forget it... I'll keep playing, you'll keep ignoring me, and eventually Maya will probably get his way. Cause that just seems to be the road we're going down!" Miku voice cracked and started getting wet as he turned away and walked down the street. So much for this night...

Kanon ran after him and pulled his friend into an alley. "You think I like the way things are? You're a better soccer player then me. I hate it because I've never had anyone that was better then me around. Ever since I started I was the best. It burns me that you are. What's sad is that's not the main reason I'm avoiding you and you don't even see it. You don't notice or even give any hint that you've picked up on any of it. It hurts and I don't like it. So I try to avoid you because if I'm not around then I can't have my advances ignored or go unnoticed and leave me feeling like I used to. Before I met you I was always sad and depressed. I felt like a loser and completely invisible. I swore I'd never feel like that again but every damn time...I feel invisible. You noticed Maya but not me. Do you realize how depressing that is?" He was trying to keep the pain out of his voice but was starting to fail. Kanon hated how screwed up this all was. If he could just kiss him and let the chips fall where they may...even if it might mean losing his best friend, it was starting to sound better then this.

"You should know better than anyone else, that I hate Maya!!" Though he may have been smaller than Kanon, he had a firm grip on Kanon's shirt as he pushed him against the brick wall of the alley. "I see you Kanon, I see more than you think I do. You're not invisible, you're possibly the loudest person in my mind and I don't wanna lose that! But I am... and I only know of so many ways to fix it..."

"No Miku, you don't see me. Or you would've done something by now. Whether it be kiss me or turn me down! You would've done something! You're my best friend and dammit I don't like having unresolved feelings. I really like you and you never seem to notice. I tried to get you to notice this past summer when I pinned you and gave you the opening. But you didn't kiss me. You kissed my nose yeah but if you really wanted me the way I wanted you that is not what you would've done. I just wish you could reject me already so I could move on instead of wondering all the time." Kanon slumped against the wall and sighed. He didn't want this conversation to be happening. It was too embarrassing.

"I better go. This isn't how I wanted you to find out. I thought you'd realize on your own with how obvious I've been...sorry."

Miku saw... he just wasn't sure. "Kanon... you do realize, that that was my second day of seeing you after seven years? Seven years that I never once forgot about you and wondered about you... Not to mention the fact that your ex and now my idiotic stalker had a vendetta against me? I was wrong... and I'm sorry."

What was he gonna do? He wanted to tell him and make him feel better, but what good would it do to say it now? They were both upset and Kanon was tired of hanging...

"I like you, and I do see you Shinya. But me saying all this now wont make either of us happy... Please, please believe me. I don't care what Maya thinks he knows, just know he's lieing, okay?"

"I guess not...maybe we should just call it a night and see how it looks tomorrow." Tomorrow was pretty much the same. After a few more weeks of nothing being mentioned he finally gave up. It wasn't worth it for all the pain and depression. Things got a little easier after that. Kanon and Miku started to become friends like they used to. He'd even made it back to being the starting forward, which Miku gracefully let go of. There was still that tugging in his chest though. He still liked Miku but he wasn't going to lose his friendship over a relationship he figured would never happen. By mid December things were normal again. Kanon found Miku in the lunchroom and sat down grinning.

"I've got a date Friday. Toshiya, you know Toshiya right? From science? He asked me out. It feels good to be dating again. To have someone interested in me. Now all I have to do is pass Trig and I'm good. You're still going to help me study for that right? I need you're help if I have any chance of getting this. Math I can do but this? I swear it's not math."

After that night things didn't get better, not right away anyways. Things got better for Kanon, which he was glad, but Miku's home life was getting pretty stressful. His parents were not happy that he wanted to stay with his grandmother, they were very reluctant to even consider it. If he could delay long enough he'd be 18 and could chose where he wanted to stay. He knew that he wanted to stay here with Kanon, he wanted to try and win him over after screwing up so bad with him.

Today felt like a great day too, until lunch came and Kanon told him his good news, "A date? Awesome, I hope it goes well~" He grabbed his soda and took a drink, "And you know I'll help you with Trig, that math is a devil no one should face alone until finals. Just let me know when you're free." Miku playfully punched his shoulder and ruffled his hair. He was happy for Kanon... He deserved to be happy. Maybe he should consider going ahead and moving...

"Well, I'm gonna go ahead and head out after this, thank god for half days... When's your date?"

"Tonight. Thank you for helping me. You need anything let me know okeh?" Kanon grinned as Miku left. He wished it had been him asking him out but that was a dream that wouldn't come true. Toshiya was alright on the date but it wasn't as natural. Kanon had to work at it more then he felt he should. Sure Toshiya was cute and a good guy but...not the one he wanted. When the date was over the teen went to Miku's house. Even after he thought he'd moved on, Miku still had hold of him.

"Hey. You got time for an old friend?" He wanted to be around someone he never had to pretend with. Never had to try with. It just came naturally. Stupid life. Had to get complicated didn't it?

"I know Kanon." Miku smiled and left, going straight home and helping his grandma around the house. Though as the the day went on he grew moody, if he had to guess it was the thought of Kanon being on a date with Toshiya... It kinda burnt him with the way Kanon had presented it... 'It feels good to be dating again. To have someone interested in me.' He was interested, things had just yet to settle down for him at home with his parents. It was ever distracting and took up a lot of his mind...

A knock on the front door late at night caught his attention, his grandma was asleep even... Huh... He opened the door and there was Kanon. Maybe he should have at least thrown a shirt on... right now he was just in his running shorts. "Always~ let's go upstairs, grandma's asleep in her rocker." Miku let him in and led him up to his room, a partially packed box sitting on his desk next to his homework.

"So... did it go well?'

"Sure." Kanon followed Miku upstairs and noticed the box almost immediately. "Uh...I guess so. A-are you going somewhere?" Sitting down on the bed, Kanon looked at Miku for an answer. He couldn't be leaving. No...the taller teen prayed to any god that would listen, begging them not to make his life more complicated...or worse.

"It didn't feel right on my date. Toshiya's nice and all but, I don't know. It just felt fake somehow, like I couldn't be me completely. Like I had to hide part of me. Sounds stupid I know."

Miku sighed and moved the box, "My parents are being difficult... they've been fighting with me for a a few weeks now about me moving in permanently. They... came by earlier this week and I did it to appease them but I'm trying to stall. If I can push it off until January I can stay no matter what they stay. There's still something I want to do before I even think about leaving here." He sat on his bed and at the spot next to him, listening to Kanon about his date...

"You shouldn't have to hide, you're perfect." Miku smiled genuinely at him, "Don't give me that look, I mean it!" He poked at his side, tickling him a bit as he did.

Kanon frowned but laughed a little. "Well thank you. I think you're perfect the way you are too...you can't leave. I'll kidnap you if need be. Leave a note for your grandmother but still. At least you'll be out of their reach. I'll take and keep you in my closet. It's big enough for you to live there. I'll feed you and water you every day and you shall be my pet. What do you think?" Kanon was laughing a bit more now, thinking of keeping Miku in his closet.

"Or you know, you could just stay in the guest room."

Miku laughed at the idea of living in Kanon's closet, "I'll certainly add it to my list of ideas. Living in your closet could be fun for... several different reasons." Many perverted ideas ran through his head, but he tried his best not to think too hard on it.

"I just... hope my parents will be too busy like usual. They don't seem to think of me as highly as you do, but it's their loss."

The blonde moved quickly and pinned the other teen to his bed, "Now... tell me more about this closet, I know I'm small but is there enough room in there to fit you too?"

Kanon blushed but quickly let it go. "Well it'd be a bit of a tight fit. We'd have to lay...kinda like we are now. Not that I mind. I'm kinda enjoying this." Wiggling his hips a little, Kanon settled in with Miku still on top of him.

"What do you think? Could you live with this arrangement or would you like a bed more?"

"Hmm..." Miku sat back, sitting right in his lap. "This would depend on several factors. In the closet I'll have better viewing opportunities but in a bed well..." He winked at Kanon and giggled a bit, "It's a secret." He loved to see his friend blush, especially when he caused it. Maybe he was pushing his luck a little, considering Kanon had just come back from an iffy date, but he was feeling a little daring tonight.

Kanon smiled and blushed but moved so Miku wasn't really on top of him anymore. "Don't tease me...it's not funny." Curling up a bit on the bed, he looked down.

"Sorry. We were having fun and being normal and I ruined it...I thought I'd moved on after so long of you doing nothing and knowing how I felt but I guess I haven't...when did everything get so hard and complicated? Soccer, us, your parents? I want to go back to 7th grade. When everything was simple and it was just you and me and the bright sun. Laughing, playing, and getting muddy."

Miku took a deep breath, letting out slowly as he looked down at his covers, "No, don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry. I know how you felt but when we started talking again I didn't wanna take the risk of breaking it again. Then when you told me about your date I got so moody and just wanted to go home, but then here you are." He laid down behind him, carefully wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close to his bare chest. To him, there was nothing better than being held by a man, there was just a certain strength there that he felt couldn't be replaced.

"I'm not trying to tease you Kanon. I never was, not even when we were kids and you were shy and picked on by the others. I have always liked you."

Sighing softly Kanon turned around to face Miku. "Miku..." Just jump...jump and let the chips fall where they may. Taking a deep breath he pulled Miku closer to him and kissed him. His lips were soft and full and god did they feel nice. When he finally pulled away, a small sigh escaped his lips.

"Wow..."

Kanon's voice was soft, everything right now was perfect, things were out in the open and just waiting to come together. And they did when Kanon kissed him, nothing compared to the way Kanon's lips moved and felt against his own, they were perfect, he was perfect.

"Wow is right..." Miku pulled him in for another kiss, deepening it this time. It was amazing to him when they'd finally pulled away nearly an hour had passed... "Kanon... this may seem a little silly now but... will you go out with me? I know Toshiya asked you... I heard some others talking about it when I left school today..." Kanon wouldn't be here if he'd agreed to dating Toshiya right?

"I agreed to go on a date with him...not date him. You I will without a second thought." The teen was somehow on top of Miku. Grinning softly Kanon moved and started to kiss Miku's neck softly, his hands moving along his bare chest before flipping them.

"Now I do believe I told you this when you got back that I rather liked being on bottom."

Miku released a soft sigh as Kanon kissed his neck and touched his chest. His neck had always been a weakness of his... So when he found himself above Kanon he moved to his neck and started kissing it, nipping his collar bone affectionately. "I do remember this... but you can easily dominate me if you're always so attentive to my neck. It's sensitive."

He moved back up to kiss him, lacing their fingers as he did, "I can't wait to see Maya's face on Monday... The true owner of everything I am finally has me. Though now I can't settle for anything less than your bed, more room." He smiled coyly at his new boyfriend.

Kanon grinned. "But what about a shower? All wet and steamy....you do realize how deprived I am right? I haven't had anything in months. I was used to at least twice a week if not twice a day. Maya...Maya and I had high drives. What about you? Do you have a high drive Haru-chii?"

Miku chuckled, "Showers, beds, locker rooms, dressing rooms, pools, cars, and anywhere else you could probably think of will not be safe..." Miku kissed him again and moved closer to his ear, "And my drive? I'm just as deprived... I'd start fixing it now if I had the means to do so..." He nipped down his neck marking him towards the base of his neck, making it easily hidden if need be.