Oh...It's you.

Kanon thought for sure Miku had died and really started to panic. The people took him to the ICU though and he was left to wait. The police were going to arrest him, his father included. But then they saw Miku...and after Kanon explained who the men were, no one dared even try. His father was apologizing..but he wasn't really hearing it. Now he knew...of course. Where was he all those times he could've used him? Needed him? Telling him he was a bad kid and it was his fault his mother's murderers got away. Well they didn't get away this time. He heard Miku and turned to see him awake. Tears came to his eyes just seeing Miku awake. He came over and crawled on the bed with him, crying out his apologies over and over again. He would never be able to make up for this...it was his fault. Miku wouldn't want him after this.

Miku clung to him and cried, afraid that if he let go Kanon would run away and he wouldn't be able to follow him. That he'd be doing this alone... He didn't want to go on without Kanon, he couldn't, it would kill him. But no matter how many times he tried to talk he couldn't form the words, he just continued crying into his shoulders and hugging Kanon tightly.

Eventually he was able to fall asleep again... but when he woke up he found no Kanon. The nurses tried to call him but had no luck... Kanon had run away... Miku was alone... He had to cope alone... The remainder of his stay at the hospital was spent crying and not talking unless he had to, and when he got home it was much the same. Luckily his boss gave him all the time off he needed and then some, but he couldn't seem to get better. Kanon walking out on him, the rape, and then him disappearing again was killing him...

Kanon couldn't do this to Miku. If he stayed all he would see is the people who were going to kill him. He had to go...but leaving didn't do any good. He just...crumbled. He needed Miku. More than he thought. So after a month of not doing anything and about losing his job he came back...and was knocking on Miku's door, trying not to cry. He wanted him back. He needed him. So when the door opened...he crumbled.

"Miku...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. If I-I hadn't freaked that you loved me s-so early then I wouldn't ha-have gotten you into that mess...you wouldn't have been raped...nearly killed...and...you wouldn't hate me. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry...I love you...I have since QA I was j-just scared. That it was moving too fast and I didn't w-want things to go bad. I wanted to keep you...I'm sorry....please forgive me...I'm sorry..." He was in tears on the floor holding onto Miku begging his forgiveness.

When he opened his door he was shocked, "Kanon..." It had been a whole month... but he was back. Miku chest constricted and he started crying as well, this was something that had become normal for him everyday... Not once did he every think he'd see Kanon again though...

"Kanon no... Please... I-I don't hate you! When... When you said you loved me I thought it was okay... I didn't know that you would-- T-that it would-- Please don't leave me again! I can't stand it! It killed me a little more each day, each day I thought of some way to just end it all... I... I can't live without you Kanon... I love you... I love you more than life itself... I've loved you for... five years... now... don't take it... away... don't leave... me alone... again..."

Miku collapsed into his lover's arms, it was easy to tell he hadn't been taking very good care of himself... All the stress, fear, and suffering alone through all of this... Just to finally hear Kanon's voice again was like a huge wave of relief. He was resting peacefully in his lovers arms, not waking up once, even when he was moved to lay in his bed.

Kanon held onto Miku as he collapsed into his arms. He'd missed him...wanted him there...and still loved him? How? After everything Miku still wanted him around. Kanon wouldn't leave him again. Not after the month he had. He carefully picked Miku up and shut the door before moving to his bed. He moved them under teh blankets and held him close. No way was he giving him up. He needed him. So much he did.

"I'm not leaving you...I love you too much to go away now..." Kanon drifted to sleep holding onto Miku. He was home...he was safe...and he was loved.

Miku's sleep was a restless one... That evening was still haunting him every night. Without someone there to help chase his demon's it didn't allow for much recovery... But now that Kanon was here he could start to get better. They could get better together... That didn't stop him from jolting awake from his deep sleep, his skin was cold and clammy as he scrambled to get out of Kanon's embrace and all but run for the bathroom. Barely making it before vomiting into the toilet...

The nightmares were too real still... even after a month...

His hand moved to flush the toilet and pull the lid down, he slumped back against the wall and started sobbing into his crossed arms. A month of no Kanon and no emotional support had left him broken still...

Kanon woke up to Miku jerking away from him and moving. He didn't understand till he heard the retching in the bathroom. He was moving toward him in a slow manner, not wanting to upset him any more than he already had. The model opened the door quietly and slipped his arms around Miku, pulling him close.

"I'm sorry...it wasn't my intention to do this to you...I didn't want you hating me. I hate that this happened to you and that I caused it. I want to make it better but I don't know how...I'm sorry..." He kept holding onto Miku, letting him know he wasn't going anywhere. There was no way he was leaving him. Not now. Not ever.

Miku released a long sigh and leaned into him, "I don't hate you... I never have. I just... I need to know you're going to be here, that I wont wake up to you not being there." Shakily and with some help, he moved to stand... deciding right then he needed a shower...

"Shower with me? I want you to hold me... Please?"

"I'm not leaving you ever again...I promise. If I leave for work before you wake up I'll leave a note...or wake you up. I'm here to stay Miku...I'm yours." He moved to turn on the shower as his lover's request. He would shower with him anyday. He wanted him to feel safe, to know he was safe. Kanon would protect him with his life. No matter what.

"I love you..." He moved to strip himself down, revealing all his cuts to Miku. The self inflicted ones that he'd caused over the last month. they were all over his thighs. He stepped into the shower and held his arms out to Miku.

"Come here...please? I want to hold you."

"Kanon... What happened?" Miku stepped in and into his waiting arms, he'd missed this, missed Kanon... "I love you too... but why... why would you do that? You're so beautiful and amazing... You still don't think... Kanon this... you couldn't have known." Miku leaned up and kissed him full on the lips.

"You know I don't blame you right? I've never blamed you."

Kanon tried to hid the cuts but after Miku had seen them he couldn't really hide. Oh well...he'd have to tell him. "I know...I blamed myself. If I had just accepted that you loved me and admitted how I felt, we wouldn't have been in that position...and after such a good night too." He was near tears again just thinking about it. It wasn't fair. Miku shouldn't have had that happen to him. He deserved better...needed better. Kanon just hoped he could give him a fraction of what he deserved.

"Miku...I love you with all my heart. I will do whatever it takes to make this better. I will do anything for you...anything." He wasn't letting go of Miku. Kanon was too afraid this dream would fade and he'd wake up to his nightmare of a life. But Miku was holding on just as tight so that had to mean he was just as afraid of him disappearing.

Miku pulled him down for another kiss, "Kanon... Shh... I love you too, more than you could ever know... I need you here with me... and I wanna be there for you. We'll get through this together and we'll be better than before... I promise." He nuzzled against his neck and kissed it softly.

"I'll never let you go... Never... And I would not hesitate to go through that again for you... If I hadn't followed you... they would have killed you."

Kanon was surprised by Miku's words. He'd do it again? What? He was searching his lover's eyes to see if he was kidding...he wasn't. It was so odd to him. Why would someone want to do that all over again...just for him? He shook his head but smiled.

"I love you...and you will never have to do that again. Ever. They're gone now. My demons are gone." He pulled Miku close and kissed him with all the love he felt for him. He wanted him to know that he wasn't going anywhere. Kanon was staying put...he was Miku's. Forever.

Miku smiled and let Kanon kiss him, moaning softly as he did... "I love you too... And thank you, this... being with me... it's all I need to be safe again. I've missed you, body and soul..." He kissed him again before cuddling himself close.

"So much for showering hmm? Seems like more bonding than anything... not that I'm complaining... But Kanon, can I ask you something?" Miku pulled back from him and held onto his hands, "Do you... remember saying it? W-when you came... you said 'I love you.' Do you remember it... at all?" He had to know, had to see if Kanon knew that he had said it first.

Kanon was thinking about it...he remembered them having sex...and reaching his climax inside Miku...then pulling out...oh god. He did. He had said it first. His eyes widened. "Oh god...I did say it. Miku I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I did...I-I thought you were saying it first...Miku...I-I didn't realize...I'm sorry...if I would've just stopped and thought about it-...can you forgive me? For being so hard headed?" He was looking at Miku with hopeful eyes. He didn't know...not until he just thought about it. he hoped Miku wouldn't hold it against him.

Miku smiled sweetly at him, "I fell in love with you and your heard headedness... I just wanted to know... I'm sorry to have brought it up again..." He kissed him tenderly to show he was sorry. But they were in this shower for a reason... gently he moved away and started washing Kanon down with some soothing smelling body wash, giving him the bottle so he could do the same.

"Sorry for waking up so suddenly... but after this I think I'll be ready to pass out with you."

"Good...I'm glad. I'm sorry too. I should've realized I said it." He smiled when Miku started washing him and took the bottle to do the same. Passing out sounded very nice right now. He just wanted to lay down adn go to sleep. Anything to feel better really. It would help them both to actually to get a good night's sleep.

"My boss gave me the next three days off. Said I needed to get some rest after everything. I didn't really take time off. I just dove into work...and ignoring the stabbing pain in my chest from not having you around." Kanon's hands moved in slow soft circles on Miku's back. He was so happy to have him. Happy that Miku wanted him.

Miku moved them under the spray of the water, rinsing the soap from them, resting his cheek on his shoulder, "I tried... working that is. I went back after I got out... but then my boss told me to get things settled at home, then come back. Hopefully we both can do that now... And... Maybe you could move in... for real this time?"

He turned the shower off and shook his head a bit, grabbing a couple towels and handing one to his lover... "Come lay with me?"

"Absolutely. I'll move in. I wanted to stay the first time but I didn't think you'd forgive me...I want to. And of course I'll lay with you...so long as you let me hold you." He dried himself off but forgot the one thing he should've remembered.

"I don't have any clothes here anymore...I don't have anything to sleep in..." Kanon still followed Miku to the bedroom though. He wanted to hold him close and tell him nothing would ever hurt him again..but he wasn't sure Miku would like him to do that naked. Not after the last month they'd had.

"Hmm... Well that's fine. We both usually slept naked right?"

Miku smiled and pulled Kanon to the bed, cuddling up to his naked form and kissed him, "I think I can handle the cuddling... and tomorrow we can go get your things and then we can just... go out and enjoy life." Miku was ready to move on and with Kanon, "Sound like fun.?"

The model found himself in bed holding onto Miku before he could even really think about it. He was so much in love with him. Getting his things sounded very good right about now. "Okeh...we can do that. I'd rather stay indoors tomorrow though. Cuddle on the couch and maybe watch a few movies. Is that alright?" He kissed Miku lightly. It was easy to see he was getting tired quick.

"I love you...with all my heart...don't ever let me go okeh?" His breathing was already slowing down. Kanon was going to sleep now that he was at ease. He had Miku and took a nice shower. Things seemed alright and that settled him enough to be able to go to sleep.

"That works for me." Miku smiled and kissed his lover, Kanon had made such a change from when they'd first met... He'd gone from a heartless bastard to one of the most loving persons he'd ever met... His mother would have been proud. Kissing him again, he happily snuggled into Kanon's waiting and protective arms. He felt more at ease now than he had this entire month, sleep was taking him just as fast...

"I wont... you are my life..." Miku was gone... sleeping peacefully, and when the morning came he didn't have to run to the bathroom to puke. And things only got better for both of them, they both got back to work and it had been several months since the incident. Now Miku was on the way home from his last shoot for the month, today was their somewhat anniversary... Today had been the day he'd met Kanon and started their strange friendship. But now it was a beautiful thing.

And to celebrate Miku had a small surprise for Kanon, for a while now he'd been saving up for a new place. While this one was plenty nice... It just wasn't meant for two people, and Miku wanted something a bit more permanent. A single rose in one hand and a newpaper in the other he started climbing the stairs to their apartment... A couple firefighters were leaving his door... and when he walked inside he saw Kanon with his head hidden in his folded arms, "Kanon? Hey are you okay? What... What happened?" Miku saw the stove... it was torched. But Kanon looked alright, and that was all that mattered. His arms wrapped around him and he got on his knees next to him... "It's alright Kanon... You're okay, that's all I care about."

The weeks went by and Kanon started taking classes. Cooking classes. He wanted to do something special for Miku on the anniversary of them meeting. He loved him so much. This was something he could never do...and he wanted to learn to make something good for Miku. His favorite meal. But...things didn't really go as planned. He started to cook but something happened...and the stove went up in flames. The fire alarm went off and Kanon paniced. He didn't know what to do.

911 sounded like a good idea though. Maybe he could stop it before it got too bad...nope. He failed at using a fire extinguisher too. Instead of putting out the fire he simply covered himself in whatever the stuff was. Now he was covered in white stuff, crying, and his stove was still burning. Water wouldnt' do any good. At least that's what his cooking teacher had said. Water makes it worse. Fuck! What was he going to do...the door was busted into. Firemen. Of thank the lord. They got the fire out and did it in enough time that only the stove and the wall behind it were scorched. Well...so much for his special dinner for Miku.

The tears came as he sat down and a fireman put a blanket on him. Miku would be home any minute...oh look. Miku. Kanon shook his head and the tears started to fall harder.

"I tried to make dinner for you! I really tried! I even took classes...I wanted to do something special for y-you and I ruined your kitchen instead! I'm so sorry Mi-chan...I didn't mean to...I just wanted to do something special for you..." Kanon held onto Miku as he cried. Another fireman came over to them while he did though.

"Sir? Are you the main tentant for this apartment? We're going to need you to sign this. It's stating what happened and why we were called." He held out a form for Miku to sign. The guy really felt bad for Kanon but accidents happen.

Miku kissed his temple lovingly and was about to speak but the fireman interrupted him, "I am... Alright here you go, thanks. Take it easy." They were gone and Miku was back at Kanon's side, holding him despite him being covered with the powder from the fire extinguisher, "Sh... It's alright Kanon... I'm not mad. Like I said, I'm just glad that you're okay..." The blonde lifted his chin and kissed him, moving his lips slowly over Kanon's to try and calm him. When he pulled back he smiled softly and brought the rose he'd gotten for him between them, "Smile... Happy Anniversary Kanon."

He moved himself to another chair and pulled Kanon to his lap, cradling him close and trying to make him feel better, "How about we both get cleaned up and I take you out tonight? Get your mind of of things." Tonight, not only was he going to ask about moving, but he was also going to try and take him tonight. If Kanon would permit it that is... They hadn't had sex since that entire ordeal... and Miku was wanting to try now. He felt more than ready.

"Come on my love, let's go shower." Miku scooped him up in his arms and carried him towards the bathroom.

Kanon still felt bad but he let Miku pick him up anyway. He hated that he ruined it but he didn't mind going out. He'd just have to dress extra nice. They were going to take a shower though. He hugged Miku, even after his lover put him down.

"I love you...thank you...for not being mad." He was very thankful Miku wasn't angry about the kitchen. He didn't mean to do it. But they would be alright. He wanted to be with him. Wanted to keep him close.

"Take a shower with me?" Kanon asked as he looked over his shoulder shyly. He'd already started the water and was starting to undress. Lure him in. Make Miku want him. That was his plan for tonight.