For the love of a whore

"Hmm? Actually after this edit and one more play through we should be in the clear." Miku hit they play button and all the music started finally playing together, definitely his best work thus far. He noticed Kanon's closeness though and wrapped an arm around him, bringing him close.

"You're cold... guess I better take you home with me after this." There wasn't a promise of sex, but cuddling at best.

Kanon closed his eyes as Miku put his arm around him. "I don't want to...not when I know that I'll be on the couch. I don't want to go. Just take me home...if I can't sleep in your arms I don't want to go." Kanon stood up and moved away. He wasn't willing to open himself up to that. Not when he still felt attached to Miku. The bassist got up and moved to the door.

"Come on...you need your rest..."

"Well then I guess I'll just have to keep you in my arms then ne?" Miku saved and closed everything before walking next to him and putting an arm around him, "You owe me some cuddling for bleeding on my favorite shirt." His tongue poked out playfully at him as they walked down the hall. Letting Kanon sleep on his couch never even crossed his mind, "You know... Even if you were on my couch I'd be right there with you, it's kinda cold tonight so I wouldn't mind the cuddling or company."

Miku ended up leading him to his home regardless of Kanon's minor protest, he figured Kanon was still pretty light headed after everything. "Welcome to my apartment, you'll be staying here with me..." The singer tugged him down on the bed and cuddled him, "If you still want me to take you home say so now."

Kanon smiled...the first true smile since he'd been in the band. "That sounds good...I haven't really had a good sleep since the last time I was in your arms." He leaned on Miku as they walked out. He wanted to be held...wanted back in Miku's graces...he would try if he was given another chance. He wanted him back...so much...Miku was becoming his everything. Kanon just didn't realize it.

Miku smiled and moved them to lay under the covers, making sure to keep him close the entire time. He'd missed holding him... that had been one of his favorite things. It sucked that he lost him just because he'd never fucked him... but that was how things went for now. Kanon still wasn't sure about commitment, so until then... he wouldn't cling to his feelings so tightly.

"I've missed you..." The blonde nuzzled his head softly, showing him any affection he could.

Kanon settled in and cuddled Miku. He wanted him... "I missed you too...very much..." Kanon nuzzled Miku as he relaxed into his arms.

"Miku...I...lo..you..." The man fell asleep fast. He just wanted to be in those strong arms. That was it. Just to be there in his arms, being held and Kanon relaxed enough to go to sleep almost immediately.

The blonde sighed and held Kanon close to him, he thought he heard him proclaim his love... but that wouldn't be like Kanon... Smiling, he settled in and held the tired man securely in his arms. This was so easy! Why couldn't Kanon just... No... This was who Kanon was, he couldn't ask him to change just for him...

The next morning he woke up but found himself quite heavy, when his eyes focused he found that Kanon was sleeping on top of him... It was cute....

Kanon slept like a rock. He was so comfortable...but he woke up to a very lumpy bed. "Mph...Miku?" Oh...he was...sleeping on top of him. "Oh...sorry..." The dark haired man moved so he was laying next to Miku, though his head was still on his chest.

"You make such a good pillow..." He nuzzled Miku's chest a little to emphasize his sentence. This was comfortable and...natural. Like they had slept like this together for months.

"Mmm... And you make a good blanket... get back here..." Miku rolled Kanon back on top of him, grinning as he nuzzled his face into his neck, kissing it softly and almost unnoticeable. This was so nice... but he wouldn't ask Kanon until he knew for sure... and this tour would test him. Kanon seemed hornier during the tours... and if Kanon could make it till their last show he'd believe him... No matter how much he wanted to just give in he had to keep himself safe.

Kanon smiled softy and moved to go back to sleep. "I like this...being here. When we go on tour can I sleep in your room? I slept better in your arms..." He started to relax again. They still had a day before the tour.

"This was a way better way to wake up instead of used and alone..." Kanon's arms curled around Miku so his hands rested on the back of his shoulders. It just felt right.

Miku sighed in content and nodded, "I'd like that... alot." Kanon's next line made him smile... Maybe he was finally catching on... With that thought he easily fell back asleep with Kanon above him and in his arms. And that was how most of the tour went; concert, some kind of dinner/party, then him and Kanon back in their room. Sometimes having sex and others just cuddling, either way they were together. Miku tried to take Kanon one or two times, but Kanon always found some way to get him to submit.

Things were looking good... until the final show... Kanon had wandered off and to another... and he was acting as the uke... Miku had tried to get him to submit but Kanon just didn't. So what had he done this time? Well... It was time Kanon heard that song he'd been working on. It was a piano solo, but knowing his band mates they'd join in...

I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for my...'

I think it's every time I walk into a room
a silence so sudden that I seem to hear it
Contact saying that you are the rain on their parade.

And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?

I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'

Or maybe it's all eyes on him
in love with ego and intention
the eyes that are just begging me for more.
This is gone and I can see it
your head is full of words,
full of words that don't mean anything.

And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?

I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'

If that's how you feel, then what's there to do?
I'll keep this feeling in my heart
but when you look in my eyes, you will know the truth.


Miku looked Kanon in the eyes numerous times throughout the song, his eyes showing just how hurt he was by everything. He'd let him back in... And even after he'd told Kanon that he feared getting hurt again, he managed to do it anyways... Foolish lamb.

Kanon left the band. He had to get it right. He realized that he was in love but he couldn't hurt him like that again. So he left and swore to stay loyal to him. He did too. When he knew he could stay loyal to him he came back. He came back...and found a new band member...kissing Miku. Kanon didn't understand. He opened the door and looked down.

"H-hi..." The look Miku had...it almost crushed Kanon. It was one that everyone gave him. He didn't want to deal with him again. Even though he was really trying this time. He wouldn't get a third chance.

"Miku... I hear you're going on tour again. Congradulations on finding another bassist...I just stopped in to say hi...so hi. Bai..." Kanon waved and left again. He was talking to himself the whole way out.

"Stupid. You couldn't expect him to wait again...of course he was going to find someone better...someone who could commit. Way to go Kanon. You let the best thing to ever happen to you slip through your fingers...twice. Why? Why couldn't you just submit? Now he doesn't even want you around...you lost the one person who believed in you...who saw you for more than a piece of meat...god you are stupid..." Now what was he going to do?

Miku's heart skipped a beat when he saw Kanon walk into the building... Stupid heart. How many times did it really think it could take the abuse? How sad was it that he was so willing to just accept him as is and just deal with him sleeping with others... If that was what would keep him around... was it really worth it...?

Their new bassist cut those thoughts short, kissing him full on the mouth right before Kanon... That kiss was nothing compared to Kanon's... "Hey...O-oh... thank you... B-bye..." Miku wanted to follow... desperately he did... But his boyfriend, Chihaya, seemed to be more persistent, following and listening to him... even going as far as to follow him to a prospective quick fuck... "Haven't changed much have you? You know... I don't know what he still sees in you, but you're holding him back. But I'm going to take your spot. Unless you wanna join us on the tour and stop me~" Chihaya had no interest in letting Kanon win, he just wanted to prove he was better than him.

Kanon was found by Miku's boyfriend...and let him have him. Miku didn't want him so why bother? But his words after that made him angry. "You wouldn't stand a chance if I tried. Fine. I'll go on tour...but you might want to keep that small stick you of a cock in check. That is the last time you wil ever have my legs spread." Kanon walked back into the band room quite angry but he simply said Chihaya had hired him as a roadie and to call him to let him know when they went. Then he left again and went to his apartment. This was going to be a long tour.

The next day came and Miku was up early, instead of calling Kanon he opted to walk over to his apartment... He didn't know what to expect... but he missed him, and wanted to see him. He knocked until his ex answered, he offered a sad, timid smile to him for waking him up... "S-sorry... Uhm... the tour starts this evening and I wanted to tell you in person since... well I didn't get to talk to you yesterday and... How are you?" It was easy to see Miku still cared deeply for him... just that he was scared to get hurt... again.

"...Mind if I come in?"

Kanon opened the door after being woken up to Miku. He listened and nodded and let him in. His apartment was clean...and...he had really tried. The smell of sex was no where to be found. He let him in and laid back down on the bed. "All things considered? Fine. Reality? Horrible. Nice Boyfriend you have..." He wasn't going to say it to Miku...he'd hurt him enough and he looked happy. He was happy. Happier than he could've been with him. Kanon wasn't going to ruin that.

"How have you been?"

Miku watched him lay back down... and decided to lay next to him, "Meh... He's alright... Too much of an asshole at times..." He was no Kanon for sure... He missed laying next to him at night...

"Well I... can't complain too much... sometimes I wish I wasn't so popular." All the media paid attention to was Kanon and his relationship... something he wished he still had. "Can I just stay with you today...?" He didn't want to admit that him and Chihaya had argued last night or that his other half could be degrading and abusive.

"Very much an asshole. But I have no rights to say anything....sure. You can stay here. I don't mind as long as I can hold you." The moment Miku laid down, Kanon was wrapping his arms around him. Why didn't he see this all along? Why couldn't he just...stay exclusive. He could do it. Easy.

"Stay with me as many days as you like..." The man slowly drifted back to sleep with Miku in his arms. It was different from last time. Miku wasn't holding him...he was holding Miku. Kanon wanted it this time. He really wanted Miku. Nothing else was worth more.

"I'm sorry..." He was asleep, but the apology still came out as he dreamed of the man in his arms.

Miku nodded slowly, welcoming the warmth Kanon provided... Once he was sure the other was sleeping deep enough his arms came around him and he nuzzled his head against his chest. He didn't notice himself crying until he let out a shuddering sigh... He wanted to be with Kanon... Not Chihaya... but the tour... what was he going to do? Kanon obviously still wanted him in his bed every night but Chihaya wouldn't allow it... Miku still always got hiw own room but his boyfriend was known to try and sneak in for some bad sex... And if he brought Kanon in there and locked the door the other would just knock and knock and knock until he got in...

"Why does this have to be so hard..."

Kanon woke up to a knocking on his door again. Miku was still in his arms and...facing him. But if Miku was here...then who was at the door? Oh...Chihaya. "What do you want?" Kanon asked in a not-so-pleasant tone.

"I came to tell you that you have an hour before we leave or you won't get to try to get Miku back and therefore you lose. Oh and I came to see who you fucked last night."

"For one. You aren't allowed in this house. Two, I'll be there, you didn't have to tell me that. And three it's none of your damn business what I do in my personal time. Now walk away." Kanon closed the door on Chihaya and locked it before he went back to Miku. Laying down again, he wrapped his arms around him again.

"The bus leaves in an hour...I know you'd be packed already but...could you help me Miku?"

Miku woke up the moment he heard Kanon's angry voice... Why was he angry? The blonde poked his head up curiously when Kanon came back in but settled back in when he was held... "Of course... Who were you yelling at?" This tour was already kinda looking up... He could always opt to ride with the roadies before Chihaya found out... and then he'd be with Kanon for hours. Their other roadies were pretty cool and wouldn't say anything to anyone about it... so even there they were safe.

"You're gonna sneak me onto the roadie bus right...? Maybe leave something on the other bus to make em think I'm sleeping there... I just... I'm sorry, that's probably weird for you..." Miku got up and stretched, the skin on his back and a tiny bruise peeking out as he did, "So... packing?"

"Just your asshole boyfriend. Miku-is that a bruise?" He let it go though. It could've been from a lot of things. He nodded and got up to start packing.

"I can sneak you on the roadie bus...but the cudding is still my condition." He moved to bring out his travel bags and went to start getting the clothes. He looked up at Miku and really just wanted to tackle him to the bed and shower him with kisses. The only thing stopping him was Chihaya...and the fact Miku didn't want to deal with him again.

"Wouldn't Chihaya want you near him though?"

Miku totally forgot about the bruise and dropped his arms quickly, "Uhm y-yeah... happened last night..." Another painful marking by Chihaya... but he couldn't
leave him any time soon due to the tour. "I can deal with cuddling... especially from you."

The bags were packed quick enough and they were out the doors, Miku nodded, "Probably... but we had a disagreement the other night..." Miku sighed and moved a bit closer to Kanon, not noticing the Chihaya was watching them load onto the bus. He didn't care really, Kanon didn't hit him or try to manipulate him.

Kanon helped him load the bus and then stole him to the roadie bus. "Hey...who's the new guy? Miku? You riding with us too?" Kanon introduced himself as they sat down in the back. Kanon's arms opened up for Miku to settle in them. Once the bus took off they were under a blanket cuddling and sleeping. It was rather nice to Kanon. He missed it. Too bad Chihaya was in the picture. Miku didn't want to date Kanon. He wouldn't want that trouble again. Kanon could do it now...he knew he could...but he lost his chance. He'd lost him. If only he could change it.

Miku was in his arms still very late into the night, he was sleeping but the other roadies were up towards the front talking, "Hey isn't Miku with Chihaya...?"

"I think, but who cares? He's an ass to him for no good reason, did you see their last fight? You'd almost think Chihaya is a woman on a blind rampage... Besides... Kanon's nice enough, and he's giving Miku what that bastard doesn't." Chihaya never cuddled and they never shared a room, making this tour even easier since Kanon would be staying with him.

Mumbling softly in his sleep he turned in Kanon's arms and kissed his neck, "... miss you..." Their next pit stop was coming up soon... And now that Chihaya knew for a fact he was with Kanon he was going to jump on the roadie bus next time too.