I'm not insane

Hyde wasn't thrilled at all. He found himself very angry with Takuya, especially the talking part. "Why? I've already his stuff on you. About your family and everything. About how you opened up so much easier...why should I listen to everything you told him. He got promoted for it...and now I'm here again, so forgive me Takuya if your offer to talk isn't as good as when I left." He was sounding bitter yes but it took him a year to get that position and because of Takuya it had been taken away.

"What if I told you that all of that was a lie because he was too dumb to know what makes me tick. If I would have told you any of that you would have caught me. You already had caught me on so many other things." He leaned forward and looked him in the eye, making sure that he could see he wasn't lying, "If you give them the new report plus a new psychosis report you'll have your job back and that other pest will be transfered. Are you interested now?"

Hyde leaned forward and looked at Takuya. "No. It won't get my job back. That's not how things work here. But I said I would help you...so talk. If you really want help then tell me everything...no lies." He was serious too. He was done playing games. He'd already lost his job because of it and he was in no mood to go and play the same game all over again and possibly lose his job.

Well... Here it goes, "My mother was raped when she was 19, pro-life, couldn't kill me. So she carried me, 9 long months, no father, no supporting family, no friends. She had me alone, and raised me alone. And even though she was pro-life she hated me with every fiber of her being because I was alive. Ever since I can remember she told me that I wasn't loved, I wasn't made from love, I'd never give it or receive it... I wasn't a dumb kid by no means, but I believed her. She was my mother, when I was that age I had no choice but to believe her. I don't remmber that really hurting though." Can't mourn what you've never had right?

"My first killing was an injured bird. The bird, fell from the nest but hadn't even tried to fly, I watched it fall and barely move. I killed it because I wanted to prove my mother wrong. I told myself I killed that bird because I loved it and didn't want it to suffer, but then it didn't stop there... I couldn't get the idea of killing out of my head... I dreamed about it even. Finding people and killing them... Those were my dreams and nightmares... Then I finally found him, the bastard the helped create me. I called him out, told him who I was, coaxed him into an old building, and I killed him...I tortured him in the most violent way I could imagine... The way I had dreamed about doing it."

Takuya was breathing deeply, he'd never really talked about this with anyone... and oddly it bothered him. But that was what Hyde wanted right? For him to feel remorse... "After I told my mom, that her rapist was dead... she looked so happy, I'd never seen her smile like that before. I think for a split second I saw a tiny spark of love, but it was gone as soon as she tried beating me to death. Fortunately... or unfortunately, we were outside... Someone saw her and got her off. Now she's in the insane asylum just a few blocks down from here, I haven't seen her since that day." He secretly hoped she would recover and forget about him and his dad, maybe she could be normal then...

Hyde listened and did the one thing he'd never done. Got up and hugged Takuya. "I'm sorry...but thank you for telling me. And thank you...for trusting me." He let the hug linger a moment. He wanted to let Takuya know that he appreciated him opening up and wanted to give him a little comfort.

"You can love...and be loved in return. It only takes you finding the right person. Maybe once you're outside and have a normal life again you can find someone. I have faith in you. If you set your mind to it you can do great things."

Well this was different... Was he suppose to hug him back? It was a bit awkward for him, but his arms did come up to hold the man slightly. He supposed Hyde deserved it for everything he'd done for him, including making him the only person besides his mother he actually cared about. He laughed softly when Hyde pulled away and spoke again, "I don't know, 17 years is a long time to verbally hear that beaten into your head, but 6 years of it haunting is far worse. But... the killing is done, you've cured that much."

He wouldn't admit to him slightly fixing his love complex though. He was pretty sure that the idea of a patient liking his doctor, especially in his case, would not be very acceptable.

"Well you'll be out in three weeks...good luck out there. This is out last session. I was here to tell you that you were being released. I'll see you when you get out and then...then it's up to you. You'll be on house arrest for awhile but once that's done you can go anywhere. Clean slate." Hyde stood up and walked to the door. He turned around and smiled at Takuya.

"Goodbye Takuya." The blonde walked out and didn't see Takuya for three weeks, then he was released and life went on. It had been five-sixth months since Takuya's release and he was mugged. Hyde didn't know what to do. Didn't know how to handle it. He was scared to walk home alone, so he avoided it. It had already been an hour and he was still trying to figure out how he was going to get home.

He was leaving that soon? Odd... Even odder how those three weeks flew by and how he hardly if ever saw Hyde, maybe he was actually really glad to see him go...

Well now was his chance to ask him, it'd been six months, but he was Hyde walking down the street he usually took to go get coffee. Quietly he walked up behind him and put his hand over his mouth and whispered into his ear, "Hello... perfection." Takuya let him go and smiled at the other to show he meant no harm, "You don't like visiting much do you?"

Hyde about paniced when he felt the hand over his mouth. He dropped his coffee and backed away against a wall looking slighlty scared. But it was Takuya...Takuya? "Oh god you scared me...I don't know your address...they never told me and it wasn't in your file." He started to relax a bit. It made him feel better somehow to know that a serial killer was standing next to him.

"I thought they put you on house arrest..." Not that he wasn't glad to see him, Hyde just didn't want Takuya getting in trouble.

"I'm sorry..." Hyde looked terrified... but it did seem like he was somewhat happy to see him. He shifted around a bit, looking around the street idly. This wasn't a street you wanted to hang out on for too long... "Huh? Oh, I'm off now. It's been six months after all, are you alright? You look a bit smaller than the last time I saw you..." Was it weird that he was excited to see him after so long?

"That's good...yeah. I'm fine...would you like to walk me home? I'll feed you." He found his way home. Takuya could easily defend himself. His attacker wouldn't come near him. He was very happy to see his old patient. It looked like he was doing well.

"So how have you been?"

Takuya cocked his head to the side when the other asked him to walk him home... It was certainly an odd thing to hear considering he was an ex-serial killer. But it was Hyde, the guy who helped him get over his dementia... "No need to bribe me, I don't mind walking you home. More time to catch up." Tucking his hands into his leather jacket he allowed Hyde to lead him down the side walk, a small smile spread across his lips at there small talk, "I've been alright, I work at a morgue a couple blocks from my appartment... How bout you? Got anybody worse than me yet?"

Hyde shrugged. "I'll still feed you. A morgue huh? Why does that not surprise me? Everyone is a cake walk compaired to you. Shobu killed himself. Shot himself at work. Said they were in his head...the pressure got to him and he died. I've got my job back needless to say. But everything is doing o...keh...can we move to the other side of the street? It's lighter over there." Hyde had seen his attacker and moved them across the street. He was nervous to say the least. True Hyde felt safer with Takuya but that didn't stop his paranoia of being mugged again.

"A cake walk huh? Good thing I gave you a run for your money or you might have gotten bored... Kidding of course." Well maybe not... but he didn't need to know that. Just like he didn't need to know that Hyde had changed him in more ways than just one.

The sudden pause in his sentence made him follow Hyde's gaze, some guy was grinning at them... He certainly didn't like it. Especially since that look seemed to be directed mainly at Hyde... But luckily he had years of experience in hiding his gaze, it helped they were moving across the street though. Glancing down at the blond he could have swore he saw him shaking... "Come here, you look cold..." His arm wrapped around Hyde, allowing him to tuck into his coat, He lower his voice so only Hyde would hear him, "It's not good to geet nervous on this street... People watch for those kind of things..." Takuya had never had that problem before, but he'd been a murder, he knew what to look for. And Hyde right now was the perfect victim...

Hyde gladly hid in his coat. Takuya was warm and safe. He knew he wouldn't hurt him and if he did...well Takuya was the only one Hyde would allow himself to be killed by. "I can't help it..." The guy had mugged him. He was still thinking about that. It didn't matter where he was...he just...was afraid.

Hyde wasn't ven that nervous when he'd attacked him... Something had happened and it involved that guy. Gripping him a bit tighter they continued on to Hyde's appartment, still talking about little random things until they got into the building. Hyde pulled himself away from him and they made their way up to his home.

Upon walking in and closing the door, Takuya immediately questioned him, "What happened?"

"Nothing. That guy lives in my building and he creeps me out..." He went to the kitchen to start making dinner. He wouldn't tell Takuya. He'd hurt him and ruin everything he had now.

"What would you like to eat?"

Takuya new better than that... that guy was creepy, but that wasn't why Hyde was avoiding him. His doctor must have forgotten he knew how his type acted... So he observed Hyde closely, that was a nice turtle neck he had on... turtle neck... Walking up to him casually he folded the collar down, the dark bruises catching his eyes instantly, "Anything is fine... A nice side of truth would go well too." He let go of his collar and crossed his arms, "Are we forgetting I'm an ex-con and I know what to look for?"

Takuya pulled his collar down and Hyde winced. "I can't tell you. You'll hurt him and he isn't worth you losing your freedom for. Any slip up and they'll revoke everything...I won't let that happen because of a mugging. Shit." He'd slipped up. Dammit. Well, maybe Takuya wouldn't do anything. Oh did he hope he didn't do anything.

He was about to argue it when he heard what happened slip, "It'd be better I know that to assume the worst... I wont do anything... Promise." The made his blood boil... what if that guy came back? What if it was worse next time... What if next time Hyde died...? He was glad he was able to hide what he was feeling sometimes.

"He was staring at you while we were walking... I can't leave you alone tonight, if he comes in here I have all rights to punch him."

"Then don't go. Stay. I don't mind the company. I feel safer around you anyway." Hyde smiled a little and went back to making dinner. Takuya stayed the night but went home. The guy didn't come back till two days later. He was beaten really bad and in tears. He called Takuya since he had his number now and just cried. He wanted him over there. His protector...he needed him near. Wanted him close. Hyde had a huge crush on Takuya sure but...he wanted him around for more than that. It was unexplainable.

Takuya heard his phone going off and waited for the called id to read off Hyde's name and answered, "Hey Hyde, what's--" The tears and pleads for him to come over were painful to hear... Hyde called him though, he wanted him there and he was going.

"Hyde... Lock your door. Do not open it for anyone until I get there, I'll be there as soon as I can okay?" Once he got his confirmation he hung up and was out the door, sprinting down to the blondes apartment despite the cold. He made there in record time considering. Panting lightly he knocked urgently on the door, "Hyde, Hyde it's me, open up." That bastard had gone too far... and he would pay, but he had to find a way to do it without getting himself into trouble... and he hated the idea of Hyde getting hurt again to bring him out...

Takuya was there and Hyde timidly opened the door. Once inside he held onto the ex-con "Please don't hurt him...just stay with me. I want you here. Don't leave...please don't leave." He was so upset and afraid Takuya would do something. He didn't want him doing something stupid. He wanted his freedom to stay intact.

"Hyde..." This was so out of the norm for him, he'd never been needed or wanted by anyone yet... Here was Hyde... who looked like a small, quivering punching bag. He wasn't sure how exactly to comfort him... but he figured getting him off his feet would be a good start. "Come on..." He lead him to the couch and sat down, gently pulling Hyde down to lay on top of him, "I wont go anywhere... I can't risk him coming back..." First was a mugging, then pointlessly beating him, what was next? Rape? Murder? No... He wouldn't risk any of it... Not when he cared for him...

"He deserves it though... every damn thought that's going through my head he deserves." He could feel his heart rate raise, but he wouldn't leave him. His arms wrapped around Hyde, anything to keep himself from running out and searching every appartment until he found and beat his attacker senseless...

"Please don't...I don't want you taken away. You deserve better. He isn't worth your freedom. Please, just stay...just...stay with me..." Hyde started to relax. He wasn't crying anymore but his heart was still racing a great deal. Not to mention he was clinging to Takuya. He wanted him very bad...so so bad. He felt better near him...safer. That's how he wanted it to stay. The blond fell asleep in Takuya's arms. It was nice to be held. Nice to be protected.