I'm not insane

"Mmm... I think it would taste better on you anyways... " There was no chance in hell it would stay innocent. He knew what Hyde wanted... and he had no problems giving it to him. In fact... he had a surprise for Hyde... He'd bought some silk ties while his lover was at work, he wasn't the only one with his kinks.

They got back to the apartment and Hyde set up for dinner and a movie. Then he got the blanket from their room and moved it to the couch. "Eating naked too or wait till dinner is over?" He looked up at Takuya wondering which one he'd pick. Most likely eating nude since his lover loved having him out of his clothes as much as possible.

Takuya smiled innocently at Hyde, "How am I supposed to clean you up if you're in those clothes..." He tugged playfully at his shirt... He knew he could easily get him out of those annoying hinderances, but where was the fun in that? ... Unless Hyde made this some kind of game, but then again the movie and food could end up forgotten...

"There really wouldn't be would there? Well alright then. I strip for you if you strip for me." Hyde moved closer to him as he played with the hem of his shirt. This could become very interesting, very fast. But they had to control themselves. They still had dinner and at least part of the movie to get through.

Strip? He could do that... But he knew he had to tease him. So he moved closer to him, swaying his hips and rolling his shirt up over his torso. Purring in his ear as he started working on his pants... "All that staring... do I need to throw you on the couch and strip you myself?" Maybe tie him up and feed him... or just tie him up and ravage him... Both. The idea was getting him excited.

Oh... struggle... He liked struggle, especially of the sexual kind. A devious smirk grew on his lips as he picked him up and put him on the couch, undoing his pants before crawling over him, pinning him down with his weight. The ropes were tucked in the drawer of the coffee table, but they couldn't be used until Hyde was naked. His hand snaked up his shirts and played with his nipples, "So willing?"

Hyde's smile grew as he was laid on the couch. His pants were gone and the man still wasn't sure how Takuya wanted to play? "So how would you like me? Frisky new pet or loyal obedient sex slave?" He rocked his hips up into Takuya as he took his shirt off. Might as well help a bit before they start.

"If a frisky new pet involves struggling... Then new pet it is." Hyde was naked bellow him, perfect. Grinning he leaned down and sucked one of his nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the perked nub as he moved to keep Hyde down. This could get interesting very fast... He liked a challenge.

"Then my no's mean yes." Hyde was up for a struggle. He hadn't had sex like this in a long time. It was actually quite fun. Hyde started to tug a bit on Takuya and tried to arc away from his mouth. He was hoping to do a good job though. It was fun to mix things up a bit.

His arms snaked around him and held onto him, growling softly as he moved up to mark his neck. He made sure it was nice and dark, not easily hidden either. "I've got something you'd like the other day... If you're a good pet I'll show you. But only if you're good..." Takuya reached out for the drawer and started to pull it open, his hand rested on the silk bindings. He was waiting for a reaction, a spark of curiousity, something.

Hyde was curious. He wanted to know for sure. It was that curiosity that got him tied up though. Well at least the bindings were soft. He looked up into his eyes, wondering for a moment if he should refresh the safety word but he figured Takuya knew.

"What are you going to do to me Takuya? Tied me up and helpless...so many things you could do."

Takuya tied him up, but was sur eto not tie them too tight. His smile was mischievious as he kissed him softly, "You'll see..." He grabbed the lube and started prepping him, then soon was coating himself and pushing in. He'd always wait for Hyde's okay before moving, tonight... something about seeing Hyde tied up and him struggling slightly earlier made him more eager than usual. Something felt like it was stirring inside him... something that made it hard for him to concentrate on the things going on around him.

Things started out great but as Takuya got rougher and rougher...eventually it started to hurt. Hyde winced a little. "Takuya stop...wait...safety. Takuya safety! Ow. Takuya! Ah!" Hyde rolled them when it was obvious that his lover wasn't going to stop. He got up and moved away from him. He was crying and it was plain as day that Takuya had hurt him.

"Safety...safety means stop."

Takuya was completely lost until he saw and felt Hyde's tears... Shit.

Scrambling to stand and moved towards him and untied him with shakey hands, "Hyde... I'm sorry, I don't know... I didn't even..." He wiped away his tears and hugged him, kissing his forehead, "I am so, so sorry..."

He didn't understand what happened, it fetl like he was going back to when he was killing people... He didn't want to do that. He couldn't risk hurting, or worse killing, Hyde.

Hyde rubbed his wrists and held onto Takuya. He didn't mind so much now that it'd stopped. "Maybe we should call it a night. I don't really feel up to more tonight." He wasn't meaning that Takuya should go just...no more sex. Cuddling was okeh. He just had to let him calm down first...and clean up.

Takuya nodded slowly and helped him to the bathroom, once he was sure Hyde was fine he went to retrieve some sleeping pants for both of them. He slipped his on before going back in the bathroom to leave Hyde his towel and bottoms. The brunette felt like such an ass... and even if Hyde did just forgive him, he couldn't exactly forgive himself yet. Not until he figured out what was happening with him, he couldn't hurt him.

"Dinner, movie, cuddling and some sleep? How does that sound?" Takuya sat down on the counter and waited for Hyde, he deserved a lot of cuddling and pampering.

"Fine...i-it's fine." There were dark bruises forming around his thighs. Takuya had got him pretty bad. He stepped out and dried off carefully before putting his pajamas on.

"We'll have to heat up the food though.."

He saw those bruises... bruises he'd made. Takuya looked away as he hopped down from the counter top, not missing the trace of fear in his eyes... God how could he be so stupid?!

"I'll get it..." He walked out of the bathroom at to the kitchen, focasing solely on the microwave instead of the nagging feeling of him failing Hyde once again...

They ate dinner, they cuddled, they went to sleep. But in the morning when Takuya left to go to work...Hyde had a nagging feeling in his chest. That was two weeks ago. He was lost...Takuya wasn't returning his calls, or visiting...or...anything. It was like that was goodbye and he would never see him again. Takuya's mother was being released and he had to be there for it. She saw his tears lines, his dark circles from not sleeping, and the sudden weight loss. She asked what happened and he told her. He told her everything. From the sex that ended badly to him loving her son. Not to mention the fact that Takuya had all but dumped him adn Hyde didn't know why. He was so close to dying inside...so Misho decided to fix it when she saw her son next. Hyde was headed down a road that she didn't want to see the end of. Takuya had to stop him.

Takuya was scared, that night when they went to sleep all he'd dreamt about was Hyde... and him doing all the terrible things he'd done to his 23 victims... And when he left he couldn't bring himself to come back... Something was wrong and he had to fix it... Unfortunately that help had found him at his favorite coffee shop in the form of his mother. And boy was she hopping mad, demanding why he'd done what he did to Hyde...

"Mom... When that happened... I didn't know I was hurting him, I couldn't hear him telling me to stop... I was enjoying it. I saw how badly I scared him... Then I had dreams of killing him... I'm scared. Scared that maybe I'm going back to what I was, that maybe I wasn't ready for all of this... I can't get official help though or they'll lock me up for good, I can't see him until I'm sure. I wont risk hurting him again." Of course he didn't know that he was hurting him right now...

"Takuya, that boy has had faith in you from day 1. Come here." She took his hand and led him to the park that she knew Hyde would be at. There he was, sitting under a tree, curled up...and crying. He was a good 20 pounds smaller than when Takuya had left him. He looked...frail...and weak...and dying.

"Do you see what you not going to him did? He loves you believe it or not. He knew you could do something like this. He knew you could kill him, hurt him...and yet he let you in. He knew all of that the first day he met you. None of that stopped him. And then you went away. He was crying on me. He thinks he's done something wrong Takuya. That by him stopping you and snapping at you...he thinks you don't want him. Don't want to see him. He thinks he's lost you and it's hurting him more than what you did ever could."

"What if I hurt him again though... I don't care if he snaps at me, but if I snap... if I snap it's a whole other ball game..." Takuya gazed in longing at Hyde... wanting nothing more than to run up and hold him. His mother saw this... and nudged him forward. She wasn't going to take no for an answer, it was time for her to be a mom and play her part as the relationship mender.

He played with his fingers nervously as he made his way to Hyde... What was he going to do or say? He'd been avoiding him for two weeks... Even if what his mom said were true, there was still a good chance at him lashing out at him. Something he more than deserved for sure...

"Hyde..." There was 5 feet between them, he stood frozen on spot...

Hyde looked up to see Takuya standing there. "Takuya...Takuya I'm sorry...I didn't mean to snap at you. It hurt and I'm sorry...please forgive me. I didn't mean it. Please...." He was still crying but he moved toward him and looked up at him, hoping for forgiveness.

"No... Hyde... Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault, none of it." Takuya reached out to wipe away the tears before pulling him into a hug. He had a lot to clear up... "I left... because I was worried about hurting you again. I had dreams... about doing everything I ever did to those people... to you. I couldn't stop myself when you told me to... I didn't want to hurt you... You didn't do anything, I promise... It was all me, not you..."