I broke your heart

Karyu was in his office, minding his own business. Most of his men had the night off and he was sure they all went to the Black Pheonix. He was sure some of them were missing the hosts they used to have fun with while Karyu frequented the club. Not anymore, though. He had Intetsu and he hadn't been to the club since. He couldn't deny that he missed it, though. He missed being the center of attention and the fun games he would play with the cute hosts. Especially the blond ones. Especially a certain blond one named Rose. God he missed that man. That spunk and attitude was so addicting and when they had sex it was like worlds crashed. Absolutely incredible. He hated Rose's rules, though. No kissing and Rose never stayed the night with him. It was just sex and goodbye. See you tomorrow.

He loved Intetsu, though. Mostly because Intetsu loved him back. Intetsu had his own way of winning Karyu's heart. And since the kidnapping, Intetsu had been going with him to all his dealings as a yakuza. A sexy, lolita yakuza that Karyu had a hard time keeping his eyes and hands off of. He lost count of how many times they had sex in the car on the way back home just because of it. Seeing Intetsu as someone strong and willing to fight was such a turn on. Intetsu was badass now and Karyu was dizzy with his love for him.

He pushed the letter aside and contemplated going upstairs to see Intetsu. His lover had a headache and had gone to lay down and that's why Karyu was alone in his office. He turned his chair to face the wall and sighed, barely noticing the door open. Not until he heard someone clear their throat and the door closing and the lock clicking did he realize someone was in the room. Karyu turned his chair around to see and his mouth almost dropped to the floor.

"Rose! How did you get in here? You don't even know where I live."

The blond smirked and started towards the desk. "One of your men. He was drunk at the bar and careless. I recognized him and convinced him to bring me to you. I'm sure you can figure out how."

"What are you doing here? Why?" Karyu could feel his heart suddenly start racing.

Rose reached the desk and came around close to Karyu, the familiar scent of roses filling the air around him. He sat right in Karyu's lap and ran his hand along the yakuza's cheek.

"What if I said it was because I missed you? I know you took that dumb little neko bitch out of the club and I'm betting he's holed away around here somewhere fawning over his disgusting dresses but...don't you miss me?"

Karyu tensed and almost threw the blond out of his lap but he didn't. He did miss Rose. As much as he loved Intetsu, he always longed to have Rose instead. But he was still pissed at what the blond did. And he didn't like hearing anyone bash his lover.

"You turned me away. That one night, I said my father died. I didn't want to be alone and you...you tricked me and then pushed me away. And then seeing you in the hallway again later...I don't want to play your game anymore, Rose." He pushed the blond out of his lap and he stood to walk toward the door to unlock it and make it leave. Whoever brought Rose home was in deep shit.

Rose was quick, though, pinning Karyu to the door and looking at him with those stunning blue eyes. He was thinking, Karyu didn't know what of. But suddenly the blond kissed him. Not just a peck, but a deep kiss. Karyu couldn't help but submit, his arms quickly taking their place around his waist. He was almost dizzy. Kissing Rose. Something he had wanted for so long and here they were.

"Rose..." He breathed the blond's name, his eyes wide and staring at him as they pulled apart to breathe. Rose was pressing close to him, though, and not moving away.

"No more games, then. Not like that. I want you, Karyu. You left and I couldn't think about anything else. We'll play the game your way. I know you don't want to resist me..." He said, his hand moving down to rub at the bulge in the yakuza's pants, earning a deep moan from Karyu's lips. "I know you want me, Karyu. Tell me you want me."

Karyu gripped at Rose's waist, moaning again as he squeezed his growing erection. "Yes...I want you, Rose..."

Intetsu was over his headache finally. He was so deep in love and so happy that nothing could keep him down for long anymore. But when he went down....he heard the one person he had always been afraid would come for his lover. Rose...and Karyu had just admitted he wanted him. Somehow instead of the sadness that would've taken it's place in Intetsu's brain...anger did instead. He was angry. He gave everything to Karyu...everything he possibly could...but Karyu still would've rather had Rose. Well...he hit the door and walked away. He'd get his lover later. And if he smelled of roses....well that would come if it happened.

Karyu heard the hit on the door and he snapped out of the daze a little, pushing Rose away.

"I can't. Intetsu--"

"No, Karyu. I don't want to hear about your little bitch. I've known you longer and I know what you want."

"What if I don't really want you, Rose? Playing against carnal desires is not the way to win someone's heart." He walked toward his desk and reached for his pack of cigarettes, lighting one up and taking a long drag.

"I know you love me, though. I know you have for a while now. That night you came to me after your father's death proved it. How can you love that bitch when I know I'm what you want?" Rose had his hands on his hips and Karyu realized he couldn't deny it. He loved Intetsu but...this fire was what he wanted.

"I'm not going to cheat on him. I'm not a slut like you."

"I'm a whore, Karyu. There's a difference. And that never seemed to bother you before. You are a slut, though, with the way you slept around with every damn blond and neko in the club. You just had to have them all. Didn't you?"

"For the millionth time, Rose, I didn't sleep with every blond and every neko. Dammit!" He hit his desk. Why wasn't he angry with himself? Why wasn't he pissed at Rose for trying to seduce him? Why was Intetsu only a fleeting thought right now?

Rose laughed and came up to Karyu, stealing the cigarette to take a drag. Karyu reached out and ran his fingers through that long blond hair. He should say no. He should kick this host out and go back upstairs to Intetsu. And yet...

"How do I know you aren't just messing with me? That you aren't just fucking with me again so you can go laugh about it later?"

Rose smirked and cupped his cheek. "I kissed you, didn't I? You know why I don't kiss. Attachment. With you, though...I didn't need a kiss to be attached. Leave the bitch and let me have you. I know I'll make you happy."

Karyu pulled away and sighed. "I need to see him...will you wait here?"

Rose sat upon the desk, his bare legs dangling and spread a little while the cigarette smoke drifted lazily out of his mouth. "I'll give you a half hour...after that...I'm coming up and shutting that bitch up for good."

Karyu glared at him, trying not to just stare at those legs. He turned and left the room, hurrying up the stairs. He was so confused and he'd never been this conflicted in his life. He went into the bedroom, noticing the light was on.

"Intetsu...hey. You feeling better?" He asked sweetly, sounding like nothing had happened downstairs.

"I'm fine...but you haven't sent him away yet. You want him. I'll never be him and I get a suspision that you're going to throw me out for him...Karyu...when you first told me you loved me...I didn't believe it. I didn't believe it because I knew that deep down...you wanted Rose. But you told me that I was what you wanted...and you kept your word...but...you don't know." Intetsu was in his leather short lolita dress...he would stop wearing them if Karyu wanted but he knew he loved this dress...or at least he said he did. The exhost came over and pinned his body against Karyu's.

"You wanted fire and passion...and I have it. I only want you...I'm loyal to you. You will never have to worry about me leaving you or that I'm only playing a game. I love you...and I have as much fire and passion as he does...you've seen it. You've felt it...don't let his mind games and perfume fool you. Those legs won't be open only to you." He was looking up into Karyu's eyes with honesty and love...he wanted him...and if he was pushed away now...

Karyu found himself pinned and he was scared suddenly. Intetsu had heard. That hit on the door was from him. Karyu was so conflicted. He reached out and ran his fingers along Intetsu's cheek. He was trying to push Rose out of his thoughts, but it was incredibly difficult. To give up a sure love for the one he'd always wanted was not something he was sure he could do. What if Intetsu was right? He'd seen different looks from Rose but those eyes looked as honest as Intetsu's eyes looked now.

"You're right. I don't know. I thought I did for a while but...I don't now. It's not doubting you...it's doubting myself. Could you be with someone who isn't sure?"

....no...I couldn't. And if you don't...Karyu I love you with every fiber of my being...but if you don't know if you love me...then I'm gone." He kissed Karyu one last time before walking out of the door, out of the mansion...out of Karyu's life. He was leaving Japan on the next flight. He couldn't live here...he wouldn't. Not when there was a chance of Karyu and Rose being seen together by him. That would hurt way too much.

That kiss seemed to stall time. He didn't want to make a decision. He didn't want to hurt either of them. He wanted to stop Intetsu from leaving but he just couldn't. Intetsu was right, though. He wouldn't want to doubt it and he wouldn't want Intetsu to always fear him doubting it. He sighed and sank to the floor, trying to think. Intetsu...Rose...Intetsu...

Rose suddenly appeared and crouched down next to him, lifting his head so their eyes met. "Stop pouting. It's not allowed." He smiled a little and Karyu actually found himself smiling back. Rose stood and brought Karyu to his feet. They kissed for a while until Karyu finally got impatient and started pushing Rose to the bed. Rose stopped them though and sneered at the sheets.

"Okay, first thing, we're changing those sheets."

Karyu called a maid and the sheets were quickly changed. Rose was satisfied and soon they were naked on the bed, hands moving over heated skin and lips leaving marks. Pants and moans filled the air and the bed shook from their frantic and determined movements. Karyu savored it all, loving the noises Rose made and the way that blond hair fell around his face. He loved the taste and feel of skin that seemed so familiar and yet it wasn't. Afterward, they laid in each other's arms and talked and laughed. Karyu smiled as he fell asleep but something still felt...odd.

When he woke up, he was confused by the blond hair. Then he realized it wasn't Intetsu and he...frowned. Where did Intetsu go? Was he okay? Rose woke up and quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind. It went on like this for almost two weeks. Karyu thinking this was what he wanted only to find he was just as miserable as he was before he met Intetsu. Rose was noticing and was getting ticked off. They fought about it and Karyu realized that he loved Intetsu and Rose was...too untouchable to actually keep. He was a doll better left on the shelf to just look at instead of play with.

Karyu left the blond at the host club and started his search for Intetsu. He needed his happiness again.

Intetsu was in New York. In a diner...and working. He still had his lolita...but the collar was thrown away...the waitress that had hired him took it back and left but...nothing. Intetsu was sweet and kind and a little flirty. He even had someone trying to date him. But he turned him down. He didn't want him to get close. Intetsu's heart was stone. He wasn't really alive anymore. He was dead and he knew it. But the one that killed him didn't want him. He was a plaything until what he really wanted came around. Then he was out...and he wouldn't let himself feel that again.

"There's your coffee and have a good day. Elsie...I really think that Oliver likes you." She looked up in confusion.

"Why do you say that?" Intetsu smiled and showed her what the man left.

"He wanted me to give you his cell number." The girl squealed and took the number happily...If only he could have that happiness...but no. He wasn't meant for it. Love found him and nearly killed him. He wouldn't do it again. He told Karyu months before that if he did it again, Intetsu would leave...and not come back. He wasn't going back either...no going back...ever.

He found him. America. New York. His men had been watching the diner Intetsu had supposedly been working at and it had been confirmed. Intetsu was here. Karyu waited after the diner closed one night and watched Intetsu leave. His ex walked right past him and didn't see him. Karyu almost stopped him but he let him pass. He just had to make sure it was him.

This afternoon seemed hopeful as Karyu walked into the diner. He was dressed like a normal business man but he had a hat on and he sat in a corner booth, hiding behind a newspaper. Moments later a rather large display of flowers (none of them roses) and a small box was delivered to the diner for Intetsu. The box was wrapped beautifully and inside was a note-all in japanese, of course-.

I know.

Meet me tomorrow at the park across the street from your diner.

Karyu was sitting in the corner, looking over his newspaper just so he could see Intetsu's reaction. Lucky for him, this booth was covered by another waiter, so his position wasn't given away.

Intetsu looked confused by the flowers...but it was all cleared up by the note. "Oh no..." He looked scared and searched the diner for anyone who could've been watching him.

"Tetsu what's wrong?" The girl came over to him concerned.

"My past...it's trying to hunt me down." He looked at her with worried eyes but inside them was a fire. He would kill whoever it was that had found him and was going to expose him...he had run away from Japan and the yakuza for a reason...he wouldn't be found. Not if it was the last thing he ever did.

So...when he went to the park, he had a loaded pistol. No one was going to say anything. He may have looked sweet and innocent...but he wasn't. Anyone who really knew would know that. So there he was...waiting. Now for whoever it was...he was waiting.

Karyu was confused. Intetsu looked scared. Did he not understand the note? Discouraged, he left the diner unseen. Kei was waiting around the corner and frowned when he noticed the look on Karyu's face. They came all this way.

The next day, Karyu went to the park. He was alone, for the most part. Only Kei was there with him and he kept his distance. Karyu stood by a tree, waiting as people passed by. There was Intetsu. beautiful as ever but looking scared and worried and angry.

Karyu walked into his line of vision and stood looking at him, a weak smile on his lips. His heart was pounding, terrified that he wouldn't take him back.

Intetsu stopped when he saw Karyu....looking as gorgeous as he remembered...but no. He just...stared. Then his anger rose up again. "Don't tell me the owner of your heart did exactly what I said he would and left you again and now you want your plaything back?" His gun wasn't needed for this...but he had a strong will. As much as he loved Karyu...he wouldn't take him back. Not if ever time Rose turns his head, Intetsu gets dumped. No. He wouldn't play that game.

"No..." Karyu walked closer to him. "The owner of my heart fled to another country because I'm a stupid, worthless man who doesn't deserve him. But I..." He was close now and it was all he could do not to take him into his arms and beg him to take him back.

"...I just thought he deserved to hear me say, to his face, those three words with complete honesty and devotion." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I love you, Intetsu."

He didn't know where it came from...but he laughed. Intetsu laughed. "Don't you dare. After...after everything. You really think that's going to make me come back to you? You first came to me because Saint Rose didn't want you. Then you about broke my heart, count them Karyu, three times. And then...and then he comes back wanting you and the one that actually loved you. Wanted nothing more than to be with you and make you happy, was tossed aside. You did that yourself Karyu. My heart doesn't beat anymore. It's dead and it's turned to stone. An I love you won't fix anything.

"I left the country because I couldn't deal with knowing you had him in the bed I shared with you for six months! Six! Add another six to that from when I was at the club. I was with you faithfully for a year...and I really did love you with every fiber of my being...yet I wasn't good enough. So what makes me good enough now? Rose left. That's why I'm good enough now. I won't be your toy that you play with until he comes around...I won't. I told you the last time that if I left I wasn't coming back..." He was backing away from him and had tears in his eyes. Karyu could see just how deep his hatred of Rose and how deep his pain went in that moment. The host that had taken all his regulars...and Karyu from him. He was done with that man and anything attached...if Karyu really wanted him then he would have to find some way to prove it.

His heart fell at what he heard. He saw the tears, too, before Intetsu turned away. He turned him to face him and he wiped the tears off his cheeks. "Rose didn't leave. I kicked him out. He changed but...he's not what I wanted. Everything changed because of you."

Karyu sighed and looked away. "I...I know it doesn't count for much but I'm sorry. I hate myself for what I did to you. What I keep doing to you. I know nothing I can say would be worthy of your forgiveness. Maybe...maybe I just deserve to be miserable and alone. Just like I was before I met you."

How could he get him back? What would he have to do? Karyu felt broken and he couldn't face Intetsu anymore. He shook his head and turned away to start walking back towards where Kei was hiding. Intetsu would never take him back.

Intetsu saw the kindness in Karyu that he remembered...but this giving up? "I never knew you for a quitter. I'm sorry doesn't account for much, you're right...but you can't keep doing this to me. You do something like that and I'm the one that gets hurt Karyu. I can't live you, knowing that if Rose came back you would drop me...or knowing what you two did in the last month...in the bed that we were in. The bed that I...that I never wanted to get out of in the morning. I want to believe that you do want me...and only me.

"But I can't. I don't...I don't want to get attached to you and let myself feel that again when I have to wonder if it's real. Or if I'm just something you're biding your time with...I want someone to want and desire only me...and to not have second thoughts...to not doubt it. I thought that was you...but you did...you did because of Rose. I lost everything I had to him. Everything from clients at the host club, to the title of black phoenix....to you. I lost the most important thing in the world to me...to him. I can't go back knowing it could happen again. If you really do want me....then don't go back until I go with you. If I really am what you want...prove to me that you do. I don't care what business you have to attend to in Japan...stay in New York and prove that what you want...is me." An ultimatium...and Karyu had to know it was the only opportunity he was going to get to have a chance at having Intetsu back.

Oh, Kei was going to kill him...

Karyu turned back to Intetsu and nodded. "Alright. I'll stay here. I'll prove it to you. I don't know how, but I will."

They could always redecorate when they went back, right? Go buy a whole new bed and anything else Intetsu wanted. Karyu was so close to giving up but Intetsu gave him a glimmer of hope. He couldn't give up now.

Intetsu nodded and started to walk away. "My shift starts at 10 tomorrow...and I love lilies...not orchids." The dark haired waiter turned and walked away. If Karyu played his cards right...but he needed sleep. Hopefully two weeks time wasn't too consuming for Karyu. Intetsu knew very well it was very bad for a yakuza man to be gone that long...but if what Karyu said was true...then he was worth it to Intetsu.

Karyu nodded and watched Intetsu walk away. Kei was furious, but they were able to work out plans with a partnering yakuza leader to take over some business. Karyu had work to do to make sure his name didn't fall in Japan.

Meanwhile, a car waited outside Intetsu's apartment the next morning to drive him to work. There was a note in the backseat with a single lily saying that yakuza don't take the bus. As Intetsu reached the diner, he was confronted with lilies, hundreds of lilies, vases full of lilies covering every table in the diner as well as every other place they could be placed and even on the steps outside the diner.

At the end of Intetsu's shift there was another car waiting. Karyu was inside, waiting in hopes that Intetsu would let him take him to dinner.

Intetsu walked outside to a car...a car that had a note inside. The one lily was sweet...and the hundreds...well wow. He walked into the diner completely shocked...there was dozens of dozens of roses. He couldn't believe it. On each dozen was a different apology...Karyu was going the extra mile...especially with how the flowers on the floor were arranged.

"I love only you...wow Intetsu...you've got some admirer...the lilies are cute...but it would've been better with roses." Intetsu smiled and shook his head.

"No...Lilies are my favorite. I hate roses...he knew what he was doing." It made him smile. He still loved Karyu...but one thing wasn't going to prove anything. He decided on two weeks. After two weeks he would decide. With the way it looked...he would be going back to Japan. After work the waitress got in the car and still had that one lily.

"The flowers were gorgeous...my boss thought it was the cutest thing ever. It shows you can buy me things and that you are sorry from all the cards...but you are going to have to work harder than that to get me. It isn't about what you can buy me...it's how well you know me and how far you are willing to go for me."

Karyu smiled as Intetsu got into the car holding one of the lilies. Karyu was done up real nice. His suit perfect and a tie that brought out the green flecks in his eyes. He was dressed to impress. Intetsu was the only one he wanted to impress. He nodded at what he said and told the driver to go to the hotel.

"I was hoping you would have diner with me tonight." He said. Reaching by his feet for a box with a dress in it. "And I got you something to wear if you wanted to change first. I...I was hoping you'd like the flowers. True I can buy you most anything, but I think the important part was that I placed all those flowers myself instead of sending a lackey. Does that show you something?"

He was almost desperate to make Intetsu happy. He just had to have him back.

"It does...you took the time...that's what counts." The dress was beautiful...and Intetsu loved it immediately. He looked at the hotel and shook his head. "I'll change at home. Then meet you for dinner...I know very well what could happen in a hotel room. You won't get anything until I decide whether to come back to you or not." He was serious too...the most Karyu would get was a kiss...and a light one too. He wouldn't do anything. If he went to bed with Karyu...he knew he wouldn't be leaving the yakuza's arms. No...he had to stay strong.

"Oh. Alright then." He tried not to look too disappointed. He wasn't looking to score, really, he was just offering a place for Intetsu to change. Besides, the hotel restaurant is where he wanted to take him. Five star hotel with a three star restaurant in it seemed like a good idea.

"Well, this car will take you back, then and bring you to me when you're ready. Okay?" Karyu gave him a smile and got out of the car. He'd go wait in the lobby for Intetsu to return.

Intetsu went back to his place and changed. Once he was ready he went back...to the hotel...what? The ex host got out in his new lolita dress and walked in. He found Karyu and went over to him. "Why...are we here? Are you taking me to a restaurant?" He was confused to say the least. Oh well...soon enough...but he looked amazing. He was in his best...he looked his best...and he hoped Karyu was trying not to drool.

Karyu stood when he saw Intetsu come into the lobby. He looked stunning. Karyu bit his lip, knowing already he was going to have a hard time tonight. He smiled and offered his arm, leading him to the in-hotel restaurant.

"Yes, we're going to a restaurant. This place in the hotel boasts about it's Japanese chef and so I figured we could put him to the test. How's that sound? Or would you rather go someplace else?"

Karyu didn't mind, either way. He just wanted to make Intetsu happy and win him back.