How You Can't Remember

Dai was smiling and that made Miyavi happy. He was glad he could somehow manage to make him smile even though he couldn't remember the places he was talking about and leading him to. The school was huge. A giant castle of sorts. Miyavi stared, feeling so small compared to it. This was where they went to school, where their relationship started. A blond man met them at the gate and Miyavi smiled at him. He had no idea who Maya was but Maya knew him.

"Thank you." He bowed a little and let Dai lead him into the school to show him around. It was all very interesting but Miyavi was tired from their trip. "Dai, I'm exhausted..."

Dai led Miyavi up to their room and sat down on the bed. Maya had even pushed the two twin beds back together. It was so sweet of him. "Here we are. This was our room. Look." In a corner of the room there was an etching in the rock that had their names and a heart connecting them.

"We did that our last year here. When we knew we'd be leaving and going to different colleges, we got a chisel from the art classroom and did that."

Miyavi crouched down to look at the engraving and smiled as he ran his fingers over it. He got up and went back to the bed, plopping down next to Dai and laying back, sighing in exhaustion.

"Can we sleep now? It's been a long day of traveling." He pouted and reached out to grab Dai, making him lay back on the bed with him. Miyavi nuzzled up against him and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep right then. This would be fun, staying here and seeing what used to be. Hopefully it would rekindle memories.

Miyavi didn't sleep at all that night. He kept tossing and turning, hearing things like creaks from the windows. He could have sworn he heard laughter and it wasn't until he felt an instant chill wash over him that he sat up, looking around the dark of the room for what was making him unable to sleep. He gave up trying and, instead, just watched Dai all night, making sure he was warm and sleeping well. Something in him told him that he needed to watch over Dai. To protect him.

Dai smiled and curled up with Miyavi. He slept soundly through the night...at least until dawn. A chill ran up his spine and he woke with a start. That laughter...no. He was just imagining it. Miyavi was awake though and watching him. "Mi-chan...what are you doing awake? It's barely five..." The red head moved to have Miyavi lay on his back so he could use him as a pillow.

"I'm okay. Just needed to stretch, that's all." He smiled and laid back down, trying to relax and fall asleep. Dai was sleeping on him and Miyavi just played with his hair, exhausted but unable to sleep. Maybe it was just being in a new place. He'll sleep tomorrow. That's what he kept telling himself over and over. He could make it through this and the memories will come. He'll be the Miyavi he's supposed to be.

In the morning, Miyavi felt sluggish. He stood at the window and watched as students crossed the courtyard on their way to class.

"Did we have to wear uniforms?" He asked, looking over to where Dai was sitting on the bed.

"Yeah, we did. Though with us they never stayed on when we were alone. Especially in the tower. That's where we had our first kiss. It's always been special to us...I can't count how many times we had sex up there. Actually I can't think of anywhere we haven't done something here...wait. The commons. That's the only place. But we always got subs and skittle milkshakes. They are so amazing. We can get one for lunch if you like....are you alright baby? You look like you're about to fall over." Dai moved to stand in front of Miyavi and look into his eyes. It was obvious that he was tired but why?

"Did you sleep at all?"

Miyavi looked dazed and exhausted but he was getting past it. It was just being in a different place. That's all. He'd be alright. He'll sleep tonight and will be back to 100% tomorrow.

"Can we go there? The tower?" He asked, slipping his arms around Dai when he came close. It always astonished him how easily their bodies fit together so perfectly. His arms fit around Dai as if they were meant to be there. Maybe they were.

Miyavi nuzzled against him, feeling warm at having Dai close. He felt so much better when Dai was close.

"Yeah...I'm just worried you'll trip or fall or something. You sure you're alright?" Once he was sure that Miyavi was alright for the most part he took his hand and led him up the stairs to the tower. It was the same, just like the rest of the school. The man smiled and spun a little in the room.

"This is the tower. Our spot. Anything look familiar?"

"I'm fine. Just a little jet-lagged. That's all." He smiled and they got dressed and went up to the tower. Miyavi watched Dai spin around the room and he laughed a little. So much happiness on his face and Miyavi can't even remember being in here with him at all. He sighed and walked subconsciously over to one of the windows, sitting on the sill. This window happened to look over the courtyard and was also the exact spot they had their first kiss. All over a game of pass the candy.

"Hey, look. You can see everyone from up here. Damn, we should have brought some water balloons or something..." He smiled and looked over at Dai.

Dai looked over at Miyavi and smiled. It was so nostalgic to see him there. It was nice. Thankfully he grabbed a bag of skittles to bring up the stairs. "Hey. Come here." The man moved to his lover and opened the bag to take out a skittle. Popping one in his mouth he smiled and leaned in closer.

"Come get it."

Dai came close to him and Miyavi knew that look in his eyes. He smirked and watched as Dai put a skittle in his mouth and gestured him forward. He could never say no so, practically hypnotized, he leaned in and kissed Dai, eventually fishing out the candy. He sat back and munched, still smiling. Then it dawned on him. The memory flooded into his head of their first kiss, in this exact spot, playing this game. He could remember how hesitant they both were and yet, how interested they were. He could remember that they went back to their room together but the details after that were blurry. He looked away from Dai, savoring the good memory. Tears came to his eyes as he looked back up at Dai.

"I remember...our fist kiss..." He bit his lip, excitement washing over him. He finally remembered something good. Something he WANTED to remember and he wasn't letting that memory go.

That was a wonderful kiss and then Miyavi remembered. "Hmm...maybe I am the key. Care to relive your past with me?" He didn't want to do the bad memories though...maybe he wouldn't have to. Dai pulled Miyavi up off the ledge and to him.

"We could get the subs and milkshakes and go out on the grounds to the lake. Go swimming...and possibly have some fun in some other places. You pick."

"I can't believe I remembered..." He smiled and hugged Dai, so happy he had him. Maybe he WAS the key. He'd do anything Dai wanted him to so he could have those memories back. "Yeah...sure...all of that. Spark another memory."

He was grinning ear to ear, so elated that he remembered something. This proved how truly important Dai was. His heart flipped at remembering that one kiss. Miyavi placed a hand to his chest, where the dragon tattoo sat over his heart. This heart really did belong to Dai. His body knew it. He just wanted the memories to prove it.

Dai pulled Miyavi with him to the floor and flipped them so he was on top. "We'll go into town later...I want you now though. You don't mind if I rape you here do you?" Without really waiting for an answer Dai moved to start kissing his abs and chest, wanting to give Miyavi everything. He may remember and he may not but he wanted them to make new ones all the same.

Miyavi found himself being pulled to the ground and Dai hovering over him with lust in his eyes. He couldn't help but blush.

"Right here? Like...now?" He giggled a little. It seemed so forbidden. Did they do this all the time when they were students here? It was a wonder they didn't ever get in trouble for it.

The past few weeks proved to Miyavi that Dai had a lot of stamina. It always seemed like Dai was desperate for more. As if they rarely had sex or something. Dai had his shirt pushed up and was kissing at his chest, causing a shiver to run down Miyavi's spine.

The days passed and Miyavi gained a few more memories...but sadly so did a few bad ones. It was late at night and Dai was bringing dinner up to his lover. Dusk was coming and he didn't realize that he was near the basement stairs. At least, not until Jyo was at the top of the stairs.

"Help me...help..." A chill ran down his spine as she ran down the stairs and knocked him down them. It hurt and he couldn't move for a moment. That laughter rang out along with a dark chuckle. Oh no. Shit. He was in the basement.

"Fuck...no...Miyavi."

"Oh no. You aren't going anywhere...I was promised you. Someone else is very much interested in your pet. It's so wonderful for him to not have memories. Makes it easier." Aoi. This wasn't good. Dai was trying to get out but it wasn't working. The ghost had him.

"Don't...please. Miyavi...no..."

It had been a hard few days for Miyavi. He was barely sleeping at all, only to wake with chills and frightened from the dreams. There was the face he would see over and over again. A face that Dai said belonged to a ghost. Yasu was his name. Miyavi was too scared to even ask Dai if they could leave. He finally fell asleep but woke up, realize Dai had left. There was a note on the pillow saying that Dai was getting them some food. Miyavi smiled but the warmth of his happiness didn't last long.

"So you walk back in here and expect me not to play with you?" Came the chilling voice of his nightmares. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes darted around the room, searching for the unknown terror. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. I guess it's true what the others are saying. Miyavi lost his memory and, for some ungodly reason, is still fucking that anorexic whore. Funny how you don't remember..."

A face and body suddenly appeared before him, sitting in his lap. Miyavi tried to get away but the ghostly hand was suddenly around his neck, causing a rush of cold through his body. He couldn't breath. He was too afraid.

"Time to show you whose bitch you really are, Miyavi." Yasu's voice was like ice.

The night was long and Dai was beaten horribly. He could barely move when dawn came but somehow he made it out of the basement and up to his room.

"Miyavi...help...hel-.." The exhaustion got to the redhead as he passed out at the door. The students would be up in a few hours but who knew what was happening behind his door. Miyavi was stuck with Yasu in there. Nothing about this was good. Nothing was going right. Fuck why didn't he realize where he was?

When the dawn came, Miyavi's room was silent. The sheets were torn to shreds, Miyavi's blood splattered over them. the furniture had been knocked over and the window broken. One quick glance and you couldn't even see him. He was sitting in the closet, knees pulled to his chest, pale as the ghost who haunted him. His eyes were glazed over and bloodshot and he wasn't moving except for the occasional shiver. His skin was cold to the touch, though summer boomed outside.

Yasu tortured him. Bruises and gashes littered his body and mind and the room was chilled from the presence Yasu left behind. He didn't hear Dai collapse outside his door. He didn't hear anything. He was still in a state of shock.

Maya was woken up to an emergency. Daisuke was torn up badly. This was bad. The ghosts were sinking their claws into them. Miyavi was no where in sight and when Maya opened the door. There was blood and torn sheets. Dai was already being taken to the hospital in town but Maya feared they would need a hearse for Miyavi.

"Miyavi? Miyavi are you in here?" After searching the room thoroughly the headmaster found the tattooed man in the closet. He had another ambulance rush the man to where Dai was. It was a horrible accident and unfortunately Maya was going to have to insist that neither man return to QA. Their lives were in too much danger if they did.

Miyavi was pulled from the closed but he couldn't even stand on his own two feet. He was rushed to the hospital, where he seemed unresponsive to anything anyone did. He was awake...but he just wasn't there. They cleaned him up and placed him in the room with Dai. Miyavi still didn't sleep and the doctors were concerned. He had no next of kin, though, so they would have to wait for Dai's approval before they started any medication.

Miyavi was unaware that Dai was hurt. He still heard Yasu's laugh and felt cold and dazed. He was almost like a vegetable. The lights are on...but where did Miyavi go?

Dai was in bad shape. They had to give him a lot of meds to stabilize him. After a few days he started to come to, though it was to screaming Miyavi's name. He was shaken and deeply disturbed. All he wanted was Miyavi. To know he was safe and that they were far away from that school. They shouldn't have gone. All their stuff was here in the room.

"Miyavi...Miyavi please...Miyavi!" It was all Dai could say. Things weren't looking good. At least someone had called the rest of the band and they were on their way. Maybe they could help in some way.

The doctors were concerned for both of them. Maya had informed the doctors about the ghosts and word got out. Parents were pulling their children out and suing the school. Maya ended up losing his job and the castle was shut down. Finally, people were taking the ghosts seriously.

Miyavi wouldn't snap out of the shock, not even when he heard Dai's voice. People were around him, concern in their eyes. The bandmates were trying to calm Dai down, trying to tell him that Miyavi was here, that he was safe...just unresponsive.

Dai finally snapped out of it and moved to Miyavi's bed. "Miyavi...please...I need you to wake up. I need you to look at me and let me know you're here. I love you...I'm so sorry." He was crying and refused to let his lover go. The band was terrifyingly worried about both of them. The days passed and Miyavi was still unresponsive. Dai had refused all help. He just wanted Miyavi to wake up...to look down at him and recognize him. Any sign that he was still there.

For days Miyavi just laid there, unresponsive. It wasn't until late one night, when the band was gone and the nurses gave up checking on them until the morning. A cold chill washed over the room, waking Dai up. If that didn't wake him, the sharp breath Miyavi took would have. He still didn't make eye contact or move but he spoke, the first words he spoke in almost a week.

"Dai!" His voice was a whisper and raspy but urgent. "Get him out of me..."