You Can't Catch Me

Miyavi was about so say something when one of the other detectives came in and patted him on the back. He pushed the man out and closed the door so they were alone. Dai was yelling at him and trying to get to him through the bars. Some tears rolled down his cheeks and he let Dai vent. He was hoping Dai would let him explain.

"Dai...I was undercover...looking for a killer. I never knew it was you until too late...I didn't want this...I never wanted to see you behind bars. I had been working a deal out for you already but now...now that you're the one we've all been looking for...I don't know what the D.A. will let me do. God...I wish it were someone else..." He sniffled and wiped away some of the tears. Dai wasn't even looking at him.

"I'll fight for you, Dai..." He went to the bars to try and get him to look at him. "I've been fighting for you since the day we met..."

Dai still wouldn't look, so he turned and left, going straight to the D.A. to inquire about Dai's deal.

"Bullshit. You were going to put everyone behind bars. You just wanted a little fun while you were at it. String me along, make me think we might actually have something. And they called me sick and twisted. Leave me alone. I never want to see your face again. They won't give me any deals. I'm going to get the death penalty and you know it. Might was well let me drink cyanide. At least then it would be of my choice." The days passed and his trial date was set. Dai refused a lawyer. He knew what his fate was...and he knew Miko was out of school now and probably trying to see him. He couldn't...he couldn't let her. His dying wish would be that all his money go to her. Everything of his would be hers. It was the least he could do for her. He'd gotten sloppy. Fell for someone. But Miko wasn't giving up. She was quite a fireball too.

"I demand you let me see him! Family is allowed to see him! I want to see the man who caused this. My uncle is a good man. He doesn't deserve this. Where is he?" A couple cops were trying to calm her down but to no avail. So one of them retrieved Miyavi.

"Ishihara? There's a girl here asking to see Ando. Says she's his niece. She's demanding to see him...and you. At least the cop who put him here. Careful though. I think she's about as deadly as he is though she doesn't look it. She's pissed and wants answers."

Miyavi sat outside the D.A.'s office for three days straight, to try and convince him to let Dai have some sort of deal. He claimed that he could get information from Dai as to the whereabouts of a bunch of stolen merchandise and bodies hidden by Bingo and his band. Miyavi tried to get more time, so he could find something that would help Dai out. When he wasn't diligently working on this case, which was about 19 hours of his day, he was crying about what Dai said to him.

A girl was brought to Miyavi's office. He sat there in a wrinkled shirt and on his third cup of coffee that morning, red circles under his eyes and pretty much looking as if he hadn't slept in days.

"Let her in..." He stood up, ready to greet her. He could see resemblance to her uncle and he smiled. "Miko, is it?"

He got her to sit and he closed his door, getting them alone so they could talk. "You're just as beautiful as your uncle..." He said, halfway under his breath.

"Yeah well this beauty is going to kick your sorry ass if you don't let my uncle go. He's done nothing wrong. He's a good man, a great guy and he doesn't deserve this shit you're doing to him. Let him go." Miko was serious. She didn't know about Dai's profession. She knew he was into something top secret that he couldn't talk about but he'd always taken care of her. Paid her way through college, gave her a place to stay, raised her from the time she was 12. It wasn't fair to him.

"Why are you doing this to him? Why won't you let me see him? I won't leave till you release him. He's my uncle. My only family and you aren't taking him away."

"Miko, calm down. Listen...I'll tell you everything...but I need you to promise not to kill me...because I need your help if I'm ever going to get Dai free. Alright?" Miyavi looked beat and he was at his wit's end. He didn't know how to get Dai free and he'd been looking all over for something, some loophole that he could get Dai through. If he could get Dai free...even though he had done wrong...maybe Dai would forgive him...maybe they could...no. That was too much to ask for.

Miyavi sat down and told Miko everything. All about Dai's real profession, all about his undercover work and about how he was falling in love with him but his boss went over his head and had Dai arrested on the evidence Miyavi brought in, before Miyavi had a chance to turn it to some way to make Dai innocent. Together, they came up with a way to pin the blame on Bingo...Dai once said that Bingo forced him to do some jobs...they could use that and Bingo's confirmation to get Dai free.

Miyavi went to visit Dai the night before the trial. He had a bag with him, which had Dai's favorite cheeseburger from that restaurant in the next town over and two Heinekens. He set those down on the floor past the bar so Dai could reach it. Miyavi looked worse than he had when Miko showed up. Every second was devoted to trying to set Dai free. He hadn't slept or ate in days and it showed. He held onto the bars and looked at Dai.

"I came up with a plan...and I hope it works..." He started to walk away but turned back to him. "Miko's here...she's safe..."

Miyavi looked back at the door and headed out.

Dai watched Miyavi come and go but didn't say a word. He looked at the wall and hung his head. "I said not to let her in...you're only going to get her hurt in the end. Damn bastard. What is your plan?" Dai looked at the burger and threw it against the opposite wall before throwing both bottles and shattering them...it would be so easy...but no. He couldn't do that to Miko. She deserved a chance to say goodbye. He owed her that much at least.

"I had to fall for a cop. Stupid fool...why couldn't you see it Dai? He will pay though. One way or another...he'll pay." Morning came and the trial. Dai refused to talk, though in the end the jurors thought it to be a sign of his innocence, not guilt. He was back in the jail cell, ready to be taken to death row. Now all that waited was the verdict, which Dai didn't show up for. He simply stayed in his cell. He didn't want to be there when he was condemned. He didn't want to see Miko's face when it happened. It would be too much to bear.

The lawyers almost didn't even bring up his new evidence. But Bingo was on the stand and said that, yes, he did in fact force some of his men to perform jobs they did not want to do. Miyavi went on the stand and talked about Dai's character. So did Miko. But Dai just sat there...not even listening to anything that was said. The judge passed the time to the jurors, who would not go deliberate and return with a verdict. Dai went back to his cell, ignoring everything. Miyavi paced in the hallway, desperate.

"Miko...what if this doesn't work?" He asked his new friend. "What if I failed him and they send him to prison? It's all my fault and I'll never get another chance..."

"It will. It has to. Or they'll have one hell of a pissed off woman on their hands. One they won't want to deal with. I'm more worried about Uncle though...it's like he's catatonic, almost like he's in shock. If he doesn't snap out of it soon...I've never seen him like this. He's always so happy and full of life. He loves to go driving and dancing and...this isn't him. I think he's just given up...his will to fight is gone. I don't know what could've done that...not unless he felt a lot more then he let on about you and to have you do that to him...that would just about do it." Miko sat down on the bench outside the court room and smiled softly.

"I remember when I was 15...I wanted to go out dancing like he did but was too young. So...he went and bought a bunch of mixing stuff and a couple new games. He came home and made virgin drinks for me, that way I'd feel like I was really having drinks without the whole underage drinking part. He had bought Dance Dance Revolution. It was the weekend so I could stay up late and we played all night. Battling each other in dance off and having virgin margaritas all night...it was so much fun and he did it just because I was too young to go to a club and wanted to go. It's my best memory of him. This can't happen to him. He's too good of a guy to have this happen to him."

"I know he's a great guy, Miko. You don't have to convince me..." He said, collapsing onto the bench next to her. "I knew it the day I met him. One night, we even just sat around and talked until we realized what time it was. I want to be with him so much but I know he'll never forgive me for this."

His eyes started welling up but a cop peeked his head out of the door to tell them the jury was back. Miyavi hopped up and went into the room, wringing his hands. His stomach was in knots and he couldn't hold still. They couldn't send him to jail. They couldn't take him away. Miyavi would be devastated.

About 20 minutes later, Miyavi burst into the room where Dai's cell was, a smile and tears on his face. A cop was right behind him, moving to unlock the door.

"Dai! We did it. We got you off with community service. You're free!" He beamed, so happy he made this work.

Dai looked up at Miyavi and stood as Miko moved in to hug him. It was all he could do not to start crying in happiness. He was free...Miko was safe...and he wasn't going to die. He glared up at Miyavi.

"Well at least you fixed one thing...don't. Stay away from me. I never want to see you again. You've done enough damage to my life." He still cared about Miyavi but after what the man did...there was no way he could ever forgive him. No way. He took Miko's hand and left. Months later Miko was back in school and he was alone. He was at a club but not dancing...he was simply drinking and contemplating what to do with his life. Miyavi had been trying to contact but that only made him want to kill the guy. He set him up, put him in jail, barely managed to get him out and that was only because he felt bad for Miko, and then tried to contact him? Miko had been growing worried about him though. He wasn't the same...not since he was taken into custody. What happened hadn't just ruined Dai and Miyavi's somewhat budding romance. It was ruining Dai.

Dai wasn't the only one ruined. After the whole ordeal, Miyavi quit his job. He couldn't take police work anymore. He tried contacting Dai a number of times but nothing. He even tried contacting Miko but that didn't work, either. The weeks turned to months and Miyavi was in a bad way. He drank too much and barely slept or ate. He fell into an abusive relationship and never even tried fighting back. Didn't he deserve it for what he did? Covering bruises and hiding limps were a daily thing, now. He never stopped thinking about Dai and what could have been. That's what he cried about when his 'boyfriend' beat him. Not the pain of his body. The pain in his heart.

Miyavi's 'boyfriend' brought him to a bar one night and Miyavi knew not to even look at anyone else or the beating would be severe. He wanted a drink but his 'boyfriend laughed at him and said some rude things to him loud enough for people to hear. The man was holding Miyavi's arm too tight and instinctively, he tried to get out of the hold. For that he got a rough slap and fell to the floor. He hid his face, trying to think through the pain. What had his life become?

Dai noticed Miyavi but didn't do anything. Not until the man that was with him slapped him. Within two seconds he was standing and had the barrel of a gun pointing at the man. "Do it again. I dare you. Give me a reason to pull the trigger. Leave before they have to take you out in a bodybag." The man held up his hands in surrender and left but Miyavi would get hell later. Dai turned around and looked down at him.

"Another setup? What's a cop doing with a guy like that anyhow? Or is he another undercover case you're working on?" Despite himself the blonde pulled Miyavi up to stand. He still cared for him...god he hated himself for it too.

Miyavi was whimpering on the floor when he heard a highly unexpected voice. He looked up to see Dai, threatening his abusive boyfriend until he left. Miyavi took the hand and rose to his feet, his hand quickly coming to fix the scarf around his neck. He didn't want anyone seeing the bruises there, especially Dai. He had on long sleeves, as well, hiding bruises and scars that he wasn't proud of. Tears came to his eyes at seeing Dai again. He didn't look happy and Miyavi could tell he still hated him.

"Thank you..." he said, looking like a kicked puppy. There are some mannerisms from abuse that you just couldn't fake. Miyavi had yet to make eye contact and he just wouldn't. Why was he afraid Dai would hurt him? "N-no...no setup...I-I'm not a cop anymore..."

He didn't know what he should do now, so he headed for the door. He didn't want to make Dai angrier than he was and he just knew his mere presence was enough to get Dai worked up. Dai said he never wanted to see him again and Miyavi did not purposefully show up at this particular bar.

Dai watched Miyavi closely before the man left. It took a whole three seconds for the man to chase after him. He was going to hate himself later for this he just knew it. "Miko misses you. She avoids talking about you because of me...but she misses you. I mean fuck Miyabi, Miyavi sorry. I know you by a different name. You know I really fell for you? I've never gotten close to anyone but Miko. No one. It's how I lived...but somehow I let you in. I let my guard down and I realized all to late that I was falling in love. Then to have you stab me in the back like that? It was like you knew the whole time what would happen but you got close to me anyway just to fuck with me.

"I felt used. Led on. Like a fucking mouse being toyed with by a cat. You realize how bad I wanted to hurt you for that? And yet, even now I wouldn't be able to kill you...I just can't. It's not fair. What you did to me and then me not being able to do anything about it accept shut down! Why did you do it? Glory? Power? Or are you going to pull the good guy card? Why did you get that close to me just to get me arrested. You didn't have to sleep with me to get all you needed to put me away. So why did you?"

Dai followed after him. Miyavi was surprised. He stood there, letting Dai yell at him, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He felt so ashamed and he hated himself for all he did.

"I-I'm not proud of it. It was a job. I was a d-detective and I was put on that c-case. I had to f-find the killer...that first night, you took me out to drinks and I l-liked you. I went the next morning to try and cut a deal for you. I k-knew the whole thing was going to blow up but I w-wanted to make sure you wouldn't get hurt. That one night we w-were together..." He choked up a little and wrapped his arms around himself. "You described the MO of the man we were hunting down. I honestly thought it was Jyo...I never wanted it to be you. I didn't know it until the morning after. I cried in the shower and I just knew they would find out soon enough, so I went in, trying to c-cut another deal and they a-arrested you anyway. I spent every minute I could working on trying to get you out. Miko showed up and I t-told her everything. She came up with the idea of pining it on B-Bingo. It worked..."

He was shaking a little from his confession. It was actually the most he had spoken in over a month. He felt like his 'boyfriend' would suddenly appear out of nowhere and beat him with the bat again for talking to someone else and for talking at all. He was perfectly traumatized and he couldn't stop the tears.

"I know i-it's not enough, but I'm s-so sorry. M-Miko knew I loved you...she r-realized it before I did..."

"It was me. You could've warned me Miyavi. Something. Anything. Why couldn't you...what happened to you? The always smiling carefree man I met? Where the fuck did he go?" Dai had moved closer. He was going to regret this. It was easy to see that.But he couldn't stop himself. He wanted it...it was like a drug he couldn't deny anymore. He needed it...and would do anything to have it now.

"I-I'm s-sorry..." He was shaking visibly now. Dai was moving closer and the panic was setting in that he was going to hit him. "P-please forgive me. Please d-don't hurt me..."

Part of him wanted to hold onto Dai and never let go. He wanted so desperately to feel safe for once. But he was so scared. The past month with that bastard had turned him into a scared, teary-eyed, beaten and frail being, a mere shadow of what he had been before. Miyavi didn't know how to react anymore.

Dai was merely a foot away from Miyavi and staring into his eyes. "The life in your eyes is gone...the light...the happiness. They're dull and dark and...empty. I wonder if I can change that..." Before Miyavi would have any time to react Dai pulled Miyavi into a hot, passionate kiss. He felt his body come alive at feeling the former cop in his arms. He could feel the humming of his limbs. It was a pleasantly odd feeling. When he pulled away the hitman smiled a little.

"Well...a glimmer is better then nothing."

His eyes met Dai's and he couldn't look away. Here was the man he loved but couldn't keep. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't. Before he knew what was happening, Dai was kissing him. Miyavi was tense for a moment but relaxed a little, kissing him back. He could barely breathe when Dai moved away.

"This has to be a dream..." he said, looking back down at the floor. "P-please don't disappear..."

"Give me my Miyavi back and I won't. I want the confident, smiling, happy, just go with it Miyavi. I want him. Not this scared, torn down version." Dai was demanding. He wanted the guy he fell for back...not the one before him. Too bad their moment was interrupted by Miyavi's current boyfriend.

"Miyavi what the fuck are you doing!? Oh you will pay for this betrayal." The guy moved closer so Dai turned Miyavi around so he could watch and shot the man like it was an every day occurrence.

"The betrayal he gave me was worse. Get over it. Don't worry. I didn't kill him...call 911 if you want. I'm out of here. If you still want that life back in your eyes...you know where I live. Same as before. I rent it now though." Dai kissed Miyavi's neck softly before turning and leaving. Oh yeah...really going to hate himself in the morning for this.

He nodded, hesitantly reaching out towards him. Miyavi felt so cold and he wanted Dai's arms around him again. He wanted him back. If it was possible, Miyavi wanted him back. That bastard showed up and Miyavi cringed. Dai got in front of him and Miyavi was stunned as Dai shot him. He stood there, not knowing what to do. Dai saved him. A kiss to his scarf-covered neck and Dai was gone.

Miyavi walked over to the bleeding man on the ground and dug into his pockets, grabbing his cell phone. It belonged to Miyavi but this man took it away from him. Miyavi also took back his wallet from the man. He had nothing of his anymore. He called 911 and an ambulance was on his way.

"I'm leaving you..." He said, the man writhing in pain. "Stay away from me..."

Miyavi went back to his apartment and packed a dufflebag of anything important and some clothes. He knew when that man got out of the hospital, he'd come here and look for Miyavi. Well, Miyavi would be gone for good. He'd never come back here again.

He showed up at Dai's doorstep, fixing his scarf again before knocking hesitantly on the door. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he felt safe around Dai. This was where he wanted to be.

Dai was just out of the shower and had slipped his pajama pants on when the doorbell rang. Padding over, he opened the door to find his ex standing there. Five long seconds and he stepped aside to allow him entrance. "You still want me? Even knowing I'm a killer. Knowing what I vowed to do to you...you still wanted to risk it to be with me?"

Dai appeared and Miyavi stared at him for a moment for his eyes going back to the floor. He walked inside and stayed close to the door, fidgeting with his scarf.

"I know I'm undeserving. I have no right to w-want you...I-I shouldn't even be here...but I f-figure...if I'm to die...or if I'm to live...it should be...up to you..." His heart was pounding and he was scared to look up into Dai's eyes. His submissive posture was because of all the abuse. It wasn't something he could just shake off immediately.

"Wrong answer. You're supposed to say yes. Not a shy excuse. If you want me then the answer is yes. If not then it's no. There's no inbetween. Do you still want me even knowing all that?" Dai was being serious. He was going to break Miyavi of whatever hold was possessing him. This wasn't the guy he fell for. But he would be again...with any luck.

"Don't be shy and looked down...look at me. Don't be afraid. If I hit you. Hit back. If I push you. Push back...fight for what you want Miyavi."

Dai was scolding him and Miyavi's breathing picked up. He was panicking. Dai would hurt him if he said something wrong. Dai would push him out of the house and Miyavi would be out on the street. That was the last thing he wanted. Dai wanted him to be bold, so he looked up at him, locking eyes.

"Yes." He said, his hands shaking. He was supposed to fight for what he wanted. Well, he would try his hardest.