Bound to you

"Me too...last night was...not what I expected. I had this dream too...that would've been a better night." Hyde sat up and went to the bathroom. He was trying to think of everything he could do to get Takuya's attention. One thing he knew that would do it was to show him what he was missing...but how? The teen came back and cuddled close to Takuya.

"Tak-tak I'm cold..."

A very freshly showered Hyde cuddled close to him... "And wet." Regardless he used it as an excuse to wrap his arms around him and spoon with him. Comfortably hiding his head against his shoulder and wet hair. He still smelled amazing... and his body just fit perfectly with his own... He hated being so nice and formal, sometimes he wished he could be more like Hyde. To be able to walk up to him and kiss him, tell him how he feels, and then make something amazing out of it...

Hyde smiled softly and moved closer to Takuya. "You're so warm...thank you. For always being there. You're the best guy I could've ever hoped of knowing." The teen smiled softly as he laid with his crush adn best friend.

"Takuya...I have a question. What do you think is a good way to get a guy's attention. If you really like them and want them to notice you...how would you do it?"

Takuya fell quiet... He didn't want to answer. Because if he did? He'd say 'Dating several guys, sleeping with them, convincing yourself that you love them... then, when it all comes crashing down, come crying on his shoulder.' That had always made him notice Hyde. Notice just how jealous he was of some of Hyde's relationships... He'd kill just for a chance to tell him how he felt sometimes.

"Well... I dunno..." How did he treat Hyde? Hm... "I guess... that always being there with that person, supporting them and giving all that you can no matter how much that breaks you at the end of the day." Maybe even that was a bit deep... But Takuya had always been a little on the deeper thinking side of life.

"But what if you do..and they still don't notice? W-what if they...just want to be your friend?" The teen sat up and looked down at Takuya hoping he didn't catch on.

"Would you try to show them what they were missing? See if they'd realize how you felt?...Cause I've been there for him for years now and he just...does nothing."

He watched him sit up, then shifted his gaze to outside the window, "That all depends, you may need to look at it through the other guys eyes. Maybe... well... what is the other guy seeing of you all the time?" Like him for example, he saw the super highs and then the crash and burn afterwards. He never wanted it to seem like he was taking advantage of him or his situation...

"He sees me every way. Happy, sad, angry, content, sick, tired, excited...and he's seen me single and with someone. I don't know what else to do. The only thing I can do is show him what he's missing out on. Wait...that's it! I can show him what he's missing out on with me...thank you Takuya. I know just what to do." Somehow showing Takuya what he was missing out on was to become a porn star and show Takuya what he could have if he came to his senses.

Why did he not like the idea of where this was going? He tried to press Hyde into telling him but he absolutely refused to share... So he gave up. Until a month later that is... when innocently a porno magazine with Hyde spammed all throughout it laid on his bed. What was this to him, some kind of game?!

Angered he walked right into Hyde's room... there was another guy. Of course... But he was on a mission. He threw the magazine on the bed making sure it was landed on Hyde. He didn't hide the obvious pain in his eyes that the magazine and the scene before him caused, "What is this Hyde..." His voice was shaken... yeah he was officially pissed and hurt.

Hyde was in his room with one of his coworkers going over the shoot they had next month. A magazine landed on him though and Takuya was there. He stood up and looked at the magazine.

"It's my new job. So what?" Not care...that's right. Act like it doesn't matter. Though Takuya being upset secretly made him happy. That meant he was actually starting to see him.

So what... so what? He just... brushed him off like he'd been doing this forever. It was like packing already sore wounds with salt... it hurt like fuck. His eyes searched all over him, looking for some kind of sign... anything to show that would show that this wasn't real... But it very much was.

"Fine." His head hung for a minute as his heart broke a bit on the inside, "But you're in this one alone. I just... I can't take anymore of this. You're constantly with other guys, constantly getting hurt, constantly crying to me when it all blows up... I'm sorry Hyde, I quit." He allowed one tear to fall before wiping it away, making sure that Hyd saw it before he walked off to his room to start packing.

He quit? Quit what? What the hell!? Hyde stormed after Takuya and opened the door to see him packing. "You quit? That's it? You quit? You aren't going to fight for me or-or tell me that I'm wasting my time with all those other guys when I should just be with you, which is what I've been trying to get you to see all along. But no. You quit. That's it then. Fine. Leave. You could've had me so fucking long ago Takuya...but you quit. So I guess you never will. Good bye." He was still fuming as he went and got Ichi and left. Takuya didn't fight for him at all...he just gave up. Guess there really was nothing between them...he didn't want him after all.

It was like all of this was a game... Hyde's reaction was almost immature... He took a deep breath on only packed what was his, nothing that Hyde had gotten him. Someday... He hoped Hyde would realize just how stupid he was being. Trying to catch his attention by dating other guys or being a porn star was just dumb.

He told Hyde's dad that he could no longer serve the family and left shortly after. Though it wouldn't be long until the family was aiding him, ever since he'd quit he'd just felt sick. Some days were better than others, but even then they weren't great. Hyde's mother was visiting and told him her son was in town, "After last year I wouldn't doubt if he still hates me, I don't want him to see me this way anyways... Thank you though." The tug and need to go see him was strong... he wished he knew why.

"Takuya you have to. He won't listen to anyone else. He's closed himself off completely. Besides...you'll feel better. It's kind of why you're sick right now..." Hyde's mother told Takuya everything. From his family to Hyde's and begged him to come.

Hyde however had quit porn but fell into horrible relationships. When one bad one ended Takuya wasn't there and he only ended up falling in deeper into an ever worse rebound. He was falling apart and all he wanted was Takuya...but Takuya left. He never came back...not once. It must have really been over.

"He really didn't want me..." The tears came just about every night now. Knowing that it had been the end of his friendship and the chance of ever being with him. Surely Takuya would've visited if still cared...or at least called...something...anything...

"... Fine, I'll come back... but you know I can't walk right now. Even I know just seeing him wouldn't cure that." So his moth arranged for him to be brought back to their home. Hyde's father forced him to come down and wait for their guest, he wanted him to see what had happened to Takuya and make him see that his ways were wrong, that they'd done damage. Though the explaining would be left to Takuya, he was the one who knew best after all.

"We're back." Hyde's mother wheeled him into the house, Takuya spotted Hyde instantly and smiled softly at him... no matter what it seemed he could never be fully mad at Hyde. "I'll send for a servant to take him upstairs. Surprise Hyde, he'll be with us while he recovers."

Hyde felt his heart break all over again at seeing Takuya in the wheel chair. Seeing Takuya at all hurt him. He didn't care anymore...he didn't want to be around him.

"Oh...hi..." The teen curled up in the chair and refused to look into Takuya's eyes. He was acting immature sure but he was still upset about the whole situation and hated to know that all his efforts only caused him to leave.

Takuya sighed as he watched Hyde, nothing changed. So he wheeled himself to the stairs slowly and forced himself to stand, gripping the railing desperately as he forced his legs to move and hold part of his weight. He wasn't about to sit with Hyde when it was obvious he wasn't wanted there.

This was a bad idea... he sould have just stayed where he was before.

Hyde looked up and sighed moving over to him feeling more pain then he thought he would. "What are you doing? Sit back down...are you really going to go through all the pain of hobbling up the stairs instead of just spending a few minutes with me? Do you not want to be near me that much?" The hurt in Hyde's eyes was obvious as he sat his one time friend back down and wheeled him back into the living room.

"You weren't exactly giving off the most welcoming waves in the world. I'd thought I'd do you a favor and give you your space." Hyde wasn't about to act like he wanted him around when it was more than clear that he didn't. He was beign so immature about it though and he hated it. Why couldn't he see he was causing more pain than good with his tactics?

Oh well... he'd be back in his room soon and then Hyde would probably ignore him for more of the usual again... He was getting old.

"... I could have made it though... I refuse to believe I'm that sick yet..."

"Takuya...look. I really really liked you but you never took notice. I didn't know what else to do other then to do something drastic to get your attention but it backfired. I was trying to act like it didn't bother me or anything like that because I didn't want to be too obvious. I coulnd't ask you...not when I know you're never afraid to go after what you want. If you didn't come after me then...well it was obvious you didn't want me. I'm sorry for the way I acted...and I'm sorry you're sick now." Hyde was showing his greatest point of humility and bowed to Takuya before going to the kitchen to get him some tea.

Takuya was quiet until Hyde and the servant who was taking him to his room came out, "You don't get it do you? You honestly never saw just how much it killed me to see you force yourself to be with those other guys then throw yourself at me when it didn't work. I wanted to please you and I wanted to give you everything in the world. But you must place me in the same category as them... I wont ever take advantage of you Hyde. I'm sorry if that was what you wanted of me, but that's just not who I am..."

The servant had him up the stairs quick enough and some had him in his old room. Nothing had changed... except now his room was fully of medical equiptment. Seeing Hyde wasn't fixing his illness, if anything he felt worse... But he figured it was because he was still failing Hyde.

Hyde was sitting downstairs when his mother came back down. "He hates me doesn't he?"

"No sweety...he just-. Takuya's been through a lot recently and he doesn't need this going on too. That's why you aren't allowed near his room. You're upsetting him even more. Maybe...maybe you two just weren't meant to be. You'll just have to accept that." Hyde nodded slowly though he didn't want to admit it. The night went on like always and Hyde stayed away from Takuya's room, though they were right next to eachother now. He was trying to stop the crying but failed miserably. He wanted to see Takuya...wanted to see his friend.

It had been a week... and he was much worse, it felt like dieing almost. Every night he heard Hyde's tears... and tonight he didn't care if it killed him he was going to make them stop.

So he struggled out of his bed and used the wall as support, though it wasn't a long walk it felt like one... He knocked softly On Hyde's door since it was locked. "Hyde..."

Hyde was curled up in his bed when he heard someone knocking the voice said his name but it was too soft. Wiping his tears away he moved and answered the door.

"Takuya...w-what are you doing out of bed. Mom'll be pissed that you're out of bed...and that I'm near you. I make your condition worsen apparently..."

"Bullshit..." Takuya reached for him and clung desperately to him, "Failing you every night is what's killing... Letting you cry without even moving to check on you... I'm failing you... I'm not fit to keep you safe from anything. So to hell with your mom I'm here for tonight." He laid his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes, "Unless you wanna make me walk back..."

Hyde held Takuya close and kissed him softly. He shyly looked up to make sure it was alright. "Never...come here." The teen helped his friend to bed and crawled in next to him. He wasn't holding onto him since he was afraid of what that kiss would render anyway.

"Takuya....please don't leave me again."