Who is she?

Jia li was following River until the girl turned back around. "Study? River I think you misunderstood me. I find you interesting as in an interesting person with an interesting personality. The way you see things is different than any one else's. It's new to me...and I'm curious as to how you see the world. What you see...I want to get to know you. New people are always interesting to me. Kaylee's love for engines for example. I spent yesterday with her while she described engines to me and why she loved them so much. And Jayne and his guns. Or Zoe and Wash. That just boggles me. But I want to know but it's interesting to see different people. Different people with different ways of seeing things. You just...draw me in more than they do." She looked down at the ground hoping she wouldn't walk away. She didn't want River hating her because she found her interesting.

River didn't get it. Why was Jia li trying so hard? Interesting. Interesting. She hated being interesting. She could never be normal. She'd never be a normal girl with normal thoughts. After he experiences, everything was a possible trap. Jia li was a stranger and was pulling her in with kindness. River didn't understand.

"Fine. Do what you want..." She said, sounding almost sad. Sure, she didn't want to be alone, but no one could understand her. She could barely understand herself. She almost felt tears coming to her eyes. Jia li said she wanted to be her friend, but she was just studying all of them. Now she wanted River. Because she was interesting. Would she ever be happy?

"River-...wait..." River was already far ahead on the trail. Jia li felt bad. What had she done wrong? The companion went back on the ship, following River the entire time, and then simply went to her shuttle. Inara looked at her as she passed with a concerned face. What was wrong with her high spirited friend?

Days went by and Jia li kept away from the girl she was so enthralled by. It was what River wanted. Instead she spent her time with Inara or Kaylee. At least they didn't think she was studying them. It made her sad that River thought she only wanted to study her.

"You thinkin of River again?"

"Hmm? Oh...yeah...I just wish she didn't hate me."

"She don' hate you Jia li. She's jus different. Cautious is all. She'll com round eventually." Kaylee sat down in front of the companion and tried to cheer her up. It worked for a little bit but eventually she was back in her shuttle feeling sad.

River stayed up on her catwalk, watching everyone go about their business like she didn't exist at all.When she wandered, she saw glimpses of the mysterious companion. She wouldn't watch her, though. She didn't want to be seen. But she felt odd. There was a sadness on the companion's face that didn't sit well with her. River wanted to see her smile again. So she went and sat in her shuttle, taking her art supplies with her. She sat on Jia li's bed and drew a flower, similar to the ones they saw planetside. She would wait for her to come back and then give it to her.

Jia li moved up to her shuttle and came in only to stop and look at her bed. There was River. She didn't understand. How? Why? What was she doing?

"River? You told me that you didn't want to be studied and acted like I didn't exist. Why are you in here if that goes against my nonexistence to you? I want to be your friend and you turn me away, I tell you that I find you very interesting which is a compliment since it appears only this ship has interesting people. And you tell me that you won't be studied. I know you're dangerous and still want to be your friend and you get suspicious of me...yet you are on my bed in my room...drawing something?" The companion stopped her rant with an air of curiosity. River could draw? She moved to sit next to her and looked at the picture.

"That's amazing...beautiful..."

River kept drawing as if Jia li never walked in, never ranted about her feelings. It was insignificant, almost. River wanted to be around her. She just couldn't help it. She kept drawing, adding color to the flower until she was done. She finally moved, only lifting her head and looking over at the companion.

"Not as beautiful as you. It's only paper. You're living, breathing beauty." She held out the notebook to her, a sketch pad full of River's drawings. Some while she was lucid, some when she couldn't think straight, some she never remembered drawing.

"Sing to me again?" She asked politely, looking just as a 17 year old girl would in her smile.

Jia li was stunned. River wanted to be around her? And complimented her? What? Okeh...well she wasn't going to fight it. ~Hi Miss Alice. Anata garasu no me de donna yume o mirareru no? Miirareru no? Mata atashi kokoro ga sakete nagarederu tsukurotta. Sukima ni sasaru kioku-tachi.

Hi Miss Alice. Anata kajitsu no kuchi de dare ni ai o nagete iru no? Nageite iru no? Mou atashi kotoba o tsumugu shita no netsu samekitte mederu o-uta mo utaenai

Still, you do not answer...~ She stopped and looked at River. It was a language long forgotten that she didn't even know. Except for the song and it's translation.

"It's an old dialect of Earth that was. I don't know what it is but I have the translation so I know what it says."

River smiled softly as she sang. Jia li had a beautiful voice. She relaxed and watched her as she sang. Such a confusing person, this companion was. Didn't she come in here all upset with her? Oh well. Looks like it didn't matter much. River was happy she was singing to her, even if it was in a long dead language that only lived on through her song. It was beautiful and River was almost sad when it was over. She started picking up her pencils, just to have something to keep her busy.

"Thank you..." She finally said, looking up shyly at her. She didn't want to push her away but she didn't know how to tell her.

River was smiling. That was good...right? But she was going back to drawing. Jia li sat up a bit, interested. "What are you drawing?" She had tried to lean over and look but it didn't work. So she settled for laying back on her bed and singing the song she sang in English.

~Hi Miss Alice. With glass eyes, what kind of a dream are you able to have? Are you entranced by? Again for me my heart tears apart and flows out memories. Pierce into the mended crevice.

Hi Miss Alice. With a fruitful mouth to whom are you throwing love at? Grieving love at? I’m already spinning words the warmth of my tongue completely cools and I can’t sing the song that I adore.

Still, you do not answer.~ She looked over and smiled at River. It was nice to have her company.

River kept drawing, smiling softly as she concentrated on her art. Jia li stopped singing, but the image was there, River drew and colored in and gracefully added shadows. Her head tilted to one side and her eyes seemed to glaze over with her concentration. When she finally finished, she held the pad of paper back to look it over completely. She smiled a little and turned it to show Jia li. It was a drawing of her in a beautiful red silk kimono with cherry blossoms and cranes designed into the fabric. The face was very detailed though, as if River had been staring at her for hours to create a portrait. Only, she didn't seem to look at her at all. She was now, though. She hoped the companion liked it.

Jia li looked up when River showed her the picture. It was her...and perfectly detailed. Even down to the designs on the dress itself.

"Wow...You're amazing. That's a very good picture. I like it...I'm flattered you thought I was good enough to put in your sketch book." The companion smiled at her, showing all her teeth. She was pleasantly surprised by River and happy that she was talking to her again.

"What all can you draw?"

She smiled a little, taking her sketchbook back into her hands and looking down at it. Drawing was one of the many things she could do. It was just a gift of hers that was rather rare to be seen. Nowadays, though, it seems like she had been drawing more and more. She didn't really have much else.

"I can draw anything, really..." She said, not bragging, not being modest. Just truthful. She looked up at Jia li, wondering if it would be too much to draw her beauty again. She wanted to capture that smile so she could always look at it whenever she felt down. The teen couldn't help but smile herself.

"Anything? Wow...River that's amazing. I can sing...but that's all I can really do." She laid back down and watched as River drew her picture. To capture this moment in words was impossible. There was no way to describe it. This was something she didn't see coming...something she was happy to have regardless. She was happy River wanted to be near her...talk to her. It made her smile to watch the teen draw.

"Yeah but...your voice is just perfect." She said softly, not even looking up from her new drawing. She drew and drew, focusing on Jia li's eyes. It would be a drawing of just her face. River felt so intent on drawing it perfectly. Jia li was so flawless, so beautiful. River couldn't help how drawn to her she was. Why? This person was so different. Why did River suddenly want to be near her so much? She didn't like it all that much. She didn't even want to be around Simon this much. Well, minus his every day medicine trial, he wasn't much fun. Not like he used to be. Even then, River just wanted to sit in this shuttle and hear the companion sing.

She started to get tired and so she laid on her stomach so she could still draw. But her head began to droop and her pencil stopped moving. She sighed and gave up, falling asleep right then and there.

The companion watched River draw and then lay down and draw...and then...she fell asleep. It was adorable. But what she saw was even more flattering. River was drawing her again. She felt a swell of happiness at that and covered River up with one of her extra blankets before slipping into the bed herself and going to sleep.

"Good night River...good night."

This is why River usually gets sedated at night. No doubt Simon was frantically searching the ship for his little sister.

She whimpered and then started tossing and turning. Her hand found Jia li's arm and she grabbed it, holding onto her as if life depended on it. She started talking, saying things like 'no', 'go away', 'it hurts' and things like that. River got clammy and pale and soon started shouting in her sleep, screaming in what seemed like agony.

Jia li woke with a start to someone grabbing a hold of her. She panicked when River started screaming. She didnt' know what to do. All Jia li could think of was to hold River in her arms and sing to her. Soft, soothing...hoping it would calm her down.

~I hear your voice on the wind and I hear you call out my name. "Listen, my child," you say to me "I am the voice of your history. Be not afraid, come follow me. Answer my call, and I'll set you free"

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain. I am the voice of your hunger and pain. I am the voice that always is calling you. I am the voice, I will remain.

I am the voice in the fields when the summer's gone. The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow. Ne'er do I sleep thoughout all the cold winter long. I am the force that in springtime will grow.

I am the voice of the past that will always be, filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields. I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace. Bring me your peace, and my wounds, they will heal.

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain. I am the voice of your hunger and pain. I am the voice that always is calling you. I am the voice.

I am the voice of the past that will always be. I am the voice of your hunger and pain. I am the voice of the future. I am the voice, I am the voice, I am the voice, I am the voice.~ Jia li only hoped this song would calm her down. If not she knew another that could help.

River kept thrashing, Jia li's song morphing into something devilish inside her dream. She kept crying out, lashing out, trying to somehow pull herself from the dream. The academy...two by two...hands of blue...she's seen terrors in her life that come back and haunt her.

Suddenly, the shuttle door burst open and in walked Simon, wearing nothing but flannel pants and carrying a syringe. He climbed over to where his sister was and gave her the shot. His look of concern melted into relief when she finally relaxed. River was limp in Jia li's arms, the sedative taking the dreams away. Simon looked up at the companion, thoughts coming into his head.

"What the hell were you doing with my sister?" He asked, ready to snatch her out of Jia li's arms and carry her back to her own bed.

Simon came in and sedated his sister. He turned to her with anger in his eyes thinking she had done something. "She was in here drawing and fell asleep. I was trying to calm her down because of the nightmare she was having and then you came in. Don't you dare assume I did this Simon Tamm. I tried to calm her down." There was fire in her eyes to let him know he was overstepping boundaries by accusing her. She knew it was simply him being a protective brother but that didn't mean he could say it or that it would be excused.

"I'm sorry...I...I'm sorry." He said, looking shy. He didn't mean to offend. He just didn't want to see his sister hurt. She had gone a whole week without a nightmare and now she had one. Simon just didn't understand why.

"There's just....there's a reason I sedate her on some nights...it's so this doesn't happen. The nightmares. Flashbacks...she's suffering from a lot of trauma...I'm just...doing all I can..." He gathered his sister into his arms and looked at her face. She looked peaceful now. Hopefully she wasn't dreaming.

"Thank you...for watching out for her..." He said and then left, carrying River back down to her own bed.

Simon took River and left the room after apologizing. A week...a week was how long she didn't talk to Jia li. Was he still implying that this was her fault in some way? The rest of the night was restless for the companion. Sleep eluded her most of the night and when it didn't she didn't like the dreams. In the morning she looked sleep deprived and tired. She tired to hide it though...

River woke up, feeling groggy. She pulled herself out of bed and was happy when the dizziness faded. Simon didn't sedate her too much last night. Last night...she didn't fall asleep here. How did she get here? She was...with Jia li. River sat at the edge of her bed and thought. She was with the companion and fell asleep, didn't she? How did she end up here?

She left her room and sought out the companion. She knocked on the shuttle door, calling her name softly. River didn't want to bother her if she was still asleep but she wanted to see her.

Jia li heard hte knocking and got up. She didn't sleep with clothes for she found them fickle when she slept. But she pulled on her blue and gold kimono robe and went to the door. River was there and Jia li greeted her with a smile.

"Good morning River...did you sleep well? Simon came in here in the night adn sedated you because of your nightmare...he took you to your bed. But you are more than welcome to come stay in here if you like." She stepped back and held the door open for River to come in.

River smiled when Jia li opened the door. She was awake? The teen bit her lip and walked into the shuttle.

"I'm sorry...about the nightmare. You shouldn't have had to see me freak out like that..." She said, feeling shy and nervous to be around the companion. But she wanted to be near her. It was a conflicting emotion that she didn't really understand.

She walked over to the companion's bed and sat down, quickly getting herself situated under the covers. She sighed as she relaxed, deciding the shuttle was the warmest place on the entire ship.

Jia li watched closely as River apologized and got in her bed. okeh? She wasn't going to argue. The companion simply tied her kimono and moved to lay on the bed with her. "I'm glad you came back...I thought maybe your brother would've told you no. He doesn't really seem to like me much. Not that I mind. But it's odd that the Shepard would like me more than the doctor. It's new to me..."