When you're gone...

This mission was supposed to be like any other, in and out then go home. Never when he woke up that morning next to Hyde did he think it would be his last chance to ever see him or proclaim his love... No... when he walked out of his front door he thought he'd be coming back to it in a couple days.

But that wasn't the case... Their mission had been ruined by some rogue demons with some problems with the second in command. The other angels were simply unlucky to be there. And no matter how hard they fought they just kept coming until they were over powered and captured. After that it was nothing but abuse and darkness... It felt like forever... his body was so beaten an sore... and more of his comrades were dying daily. Until he was the only one left... After a month of watching them die, his days were spent trying to escape, failing, getting beaten, then thrown back into his 'cage'. They finally got smart and chained him down and hand cuffed him... but they never took into account the angelic powers most angels never used.

He had someone to get back to... someone to live for... Hyde was his motivation for getting out of that hell hole... And finally he did, a whole year after the death of his friends. It almost felt too easy... But he didn't care. He was free and flying as fast as he could back to heavens safety, where he landed clumsily in his own front yard. Groaning, he stood with a bit of a struggle since his hands were still cuffed together but he managed. Walking a bit closer it the front door he looked at himself in the window, his hair was definitely much longer, it now ran to his lower back and didn't look all that clean... none of him did... God he hoped this wasn't a dream. It would just kill him like it had so many other times.

Hyde had suffered every day for a year. All he heard was it was his fault Takuya was dead...that he would be there now if it wasn't for his distractions. All it accomplished was tearing Hyde's selfesteem to nothing...he had nothing without Takuya. After a year...he finally accepted that he wasn't coming back. His lover was gone...he didn't even have a body to bury as proof. But there was a headstone. That's where Hyde was everyday. It had been a month since he left the house and at least a week and a half without food. He didn't care...he wanted to be with Takuya...he wanted to die.

He had his knife too. Takuya's favorite pocket knife he took with him on dangerous missions...but this wasn't supposed to be dangerous. This was a routine one...or so it was supposed to be. The blonde was curled up in one of Takuya's huge shirts and wrapped in his wings. He was laying on top of Takuya's grave wondering if he could simply just take his own life...would he be reencarnated then? Takuya wouldn't be there to save him this time. The last year was hell...nothing but hell. Takuya was gone...and he wasn't coming back.

Tiredly, he grabbed the doorknob and found it was unlocked, inside he could just feel the waves of sadness that just filled the house. But under all of that he could feel his lovers presence, even if it was weak.

Walking timidly through his own house, he followed the aura to his backyard right to where his lover laid, he was in front of a tombstone... His tombstone. Without a word he moved closer and laid down right next to Hyde. Even though the other angel was breathing he looked dead. It wasn't something he ever wanted to see for the other...

Scooting closer, his hair covered his face while he held his bound hands close to him, simply waiting for Hyde to react.

There was someone there...someone was in his house. Hyde pulled the blade out of its case as he jumped up. Long hair covered the intruders face. "What the fuck do you think you're doing breaking into my house? It's bad enough all the shit you give me out there but to come in here? What do you want?" He was in no mood to play anymore...they were killing him. It was hard enough knowing that Takuya was dead but to have been told for the past year that it was his fault...well he had come to believe it. He couldn't let them break into the last sanctuary he had left...even if it was just a deadly reminder of what he did wrong.

Takuya sighed and stood up, "I should have known I wasn't really home. I'll probably never get back, though I've tried... I tried every chance I could take..."

It hadn't been enough... He was going to die in that stupid cell, he's never see Hyde again except his dreams... And that just wasn't enough. The brunette thought for sure he'd made it this time... but it had been to easy...

His shoulders sagged a bit as he turned and walked away, this was a nightmare not a dream, "If... you are a dream, and its possible... I love you... Since I can't say it to you in person here will have to do..." The broken angel looked down to his cuffs and the bloodied and dirt covered skin around it. Heaven he was in so much pain... and to have all of this be just a dream... was worse.

The I love you got him...the only one to have ever said that...was gone. Right? "What...w-who are you?" He wanted to believe that it was his lost lover come home...but that would be too much of a dream come true. He hadn't suffered enough to be able to have him come back. He couldn't be back...that couldn't be...Takuya...his Takuya....could it?

At his question he paused, almost hesitating... But if this was just a dream... He was safe. Takuya bowed his head, letting his hair curtain downwards until he tossed his head back and turned slowly. His broken eyes looked on into Hyde's almost dead ones. For a year he'd dreamt of coming home to Hyde... but not like this. They were both in such poor shape...

"I'm me..."

Tears welled up in Hyde's eyes as he dropped the knife to cover his mouth. "Takuya..." He ran forward and hugged him tightly. True Takuya's hands were still bound but he didn't care. His lover was there...solid and alive. A very much needed and way long overdue kiss found its way to the reaper's lips as Hyde continued to cry.

"They told me you died...they couldn't find your body but they couldn't find you anywhere and they said that meant you were dead...everyone kept saying it was my fault for letting you go and I-I just couldn't...you're here...you came back..." The salty tears were streaming down the blonde's face as he kissed Takuya again. His lover was home. He still hadn't suffered enough but he didn't care...he was there. Thin, bony hands moved to hold Takuya's face in his hands. This was his Takuya...his lover...and he was alive.

"I never stopped hoping...but after so long it was hard to not believe them...I love you..." The three words he had wanted to say to him for a year to keep his spirits up wherever he was were the first three words he forgot to say.

Takuya felt warmth spreading through him as Hyde rushed forward and hugged him, his head leaned against his shoulder since he couldn't hug him in return. And that kiss... oh it was enough to bring his own tears to the surface, "Oh Hyde... I'm so sorry... I.. I never meant to leave you for so long! And for you to suffer like this... Heaven I'm so sorry..."

He was still crying as his over kissed him again and held his face, "Thank you... Everyday I thought of you... it's the only reason I'm here before you now... Heaven I love you too." Takuya leaned forward an dgave him a simple kiss before he leaned his head back on Hyde's shoulder, "I thought I'd never get to do this again... never thought I-i'd come... h-home..." He was sobbing into the crook of his neck but he didn't care. Even with Hyde now being pretty much anorexic he still felt weaker than him, he needed his lover's support badly.

Hyde cried more as he moved to the ground with Takuya...there were so many things wrong...but all of them would be fixed...most of them with a good long hot shower, some long needed cuddling, and some first aid. "Takuya...you're home...and you are never leaving again. Sit. I'm going to get the first aid and stuff..." He kissed Takuya once more and prayed that when he came back outside, his lover would still be sitting there. Quickly Hyde got the first aid and a bowl of warm water. He came back out and started to pick the locks on the cuffs. The sooner those arms were around him, the better. He'd sit in Takuya's lap too to bandage him and everything...he wanted to be held again...needed to be held again.

Once his cuffs were undone and tossed for away from him, he didn't hesitate holding his love. Never again... he was done with being a reaper... Takuya's hold on him loosened so he could start tending to his wounds, but he still held him close with his resting against Hyde's back, "After some recovery... I'm going in and quitting this job. I can't take those kind of risks anymore..." And he was dead serious, no job was worth the things they'd both gone through.

Hyde had just finished cleaning his cuts and was about to bandage them, but Takuya gently grabbed his hands, "Wait... we both need a shower... and I just want to be close to you..." Standing shakily, he pulled Hyde with his but continued to hold his hand as he led them to their bathroom... God he never thought he'd be doing this again...

Hyde curled up in Takuya's lap. That gravestone was going to be removed. Or maybe it would stay as a reminder of how bad things had been in the last year. Either way, changes were going to be made.

"Good...I never want to feel this again." He didn't want to ever have the council come to his house and tell him his lover was dead. Never again. Hyde tended to the bloody and bruised wrists. Takuya had a collar on too. When he saw that he knew what happened.

"Cruel aren't they?" He didn't remember much of it from his past life but he knew Hyde was tortured badly by a demon. Looking up curiously at Takuya as he stood. That long hair was...odd, but beautiful. It was sad for what happened for him to see it.

"Takuya...I've missed you." So much that he had just given up. Hyde hadn't eaten in over a week.

He was more than relieved when that collar left his neck, and he couldn't agree more about the cruelty of Demons... If he never saw one again he would live happy.

"Takuya...I've missed you." The angel pulled him close and wrapped his arms possessively around him, "I've missed you too... And I promise to make up for this as best as I can." Takuya's hands ran down his sides, feeling the unusual thinness and bones... He didn't like that... Curious, his hands moved to the hem of the rather large shirt and pulled it up over his head. Heaven... "You're so thin... Hyde..." He was trying to die... because he seriously thought he was dead. And those people... Well they were going to be dealt with.

Pulling his own shirt off he finally revealed all the bruising and cuts from his years worth of beatings, but the didn't matter... What mattered was him pulling his lover closer so he could feel his skin against his, "Never again... I swear... Those people have another thing coming to them for doing this..." His hands slipped to Hyde's jeans and undid them, listening as the cloth slipped to the floor. Shower, some much needed cuddling, then going to the council... He'd have to tell them he was back before he could do too much, but after that he was all Hyde's.

Hyde sighed when he felt those arms wrap around him. He thought he'd never be held again. It was a horrible feeling and dying seemed so easy. "I stopped eating...starvation seemed like the easiest way to go because it wouldn't be seen as suicide...then I would be reborn and could find you. I just couldn't live here anymore...and out there was worse. They told me I should've stopped you...that I was a distraction and it got you killed. That I should've died...not you. Believe me I would've gladly taken your place but no matter what I said they just...kept doing it. Especially that one that tried to kill me...he was the worst. I couldn't face it so I just stayed in here...I ran out of food and well..." He shook his head as they stepped into the shower. Takuya was home...he was here. He was alive and he wasn't leaving again.

Takuya kissed him softly as they went under the spray of water, letting his lip linger with his just to feel him. His hand brushed the clumps of wet hair away from his lovers face, "None of what happened was your fault, it wasn't even supposed to be dangerous... But I'm home now, and I'm not leaving you, not again... After a nice long catch up though we need to go see the council, they'll need to know I'm alive and quiting."

Grabbing some shampoo, he massaged it into Hyde's hair, then down his overly tensed back... Heaven there was so much he had to catch up on and make up for. Sighing he kissed his forhead, feeling his overly long hair slide across his back as he did. Laughing a bit he tugged some of the silkiness into his view, "I think I need a haircut..." His hair had grown a lot... and he never really notticed until it was wet, hanging, and heavy.

Hyde nodded and closed his eyes as Takuya started to wash his hair...He opened them with the haircut comment. "I kind of like it...even though it took all that to see it...maybe a few inches but I like it being a bit long." He moved to get the loofa and started to wash Takuya's dirty body...a body he had missed dearly.

"How did it all go wrong? It was a routine reaping....so how did all this happen?" He wanted to know how the hell they had gone through came about. That way he knew who to hate then just demons.

Takuya smiled at him, "Well if you like it then it'll stay, but a few inches needs to go... dead ends." He just started to wash out the soap from Hyde's hair when the other started to wash his body, he moaned softly at the touch, partially because it felt good, but also because of the initial sting from the soap. All in all he enjoyed it more than anything, but now Hyde was curious as to how it happened... Even he wondered sometimes, some of their brightest minds were on that team...

"One of the pick up points turned out to be a sham... We were ambushed and tried to fight them off but none of us really had weapons, so eventually they did over power us." He paused as if he was actually reliving it for a moment, then continued on, "I'm not sure where they took us, somewhere on earth... and Kyo... The same bastard that tortured you in your past life... was there torturing all of us, trying to get info on other points... None of us cracked..." Takuya released a shakey sigh, he couldn't stand the next part... it was so demented...

"When they got bored with us... Everyday one of us disappeared, being killed in some abnormal way or simple just dieing naturally... Until it was just Yosuke and me... Kyo had a vendetta against Yosuke, he never stood a chance." His head came to lay on Hyde's shoulder, he needed to talk about this... this would help him get over it, "After that... I tried my damnedest to get out of there, everyday I tried, and everyday I'd get beat down and tossed back. I was just mild entertainment to them... until they got tired of that and chained me up. They must have thought I'd let them have their way with me but I fought that everytime to... I wasn't goign to let myself be touched by that... Eventually though... Kyo started threatening to kill me, that when I paniced and our angelic strength came out... I don't know how many died, I didn't care... I just wanted to come home..."

He pressed his body closer to Hyde's, enjoying the comfort he provided... "And... well... you know the rest..."

Kyo explained so much to Hyde. He couldn't help but shudder at what little he remembered. "Takuya...I'm so sorry..." The angel moved to hold him close. His ribs were probably poking into Takuya but he was trying to comfort him. He was safe and sound.

"It's okeh...you're home..." He was going to stay home too. No more reaping...no more danger...no more leaving.

"Thank god... And I swear I'm done... Nothing does this to you... Nothing... I love you so much." Takuya pushed him back a little to lean him against the wall, bracing himself with his arms he leaned in and kissed him passionately. Sex was far from his mind, but right now he just wanted to feel Hyde, to show him his love...

Hyde smiled and felt the wall against his back...Takuya was there. If he woke up and this was all a dream that knife in the backyard would go through his chest. He held Takuya tight. He'd missed those lips...those hands...this angel. Takuya was his life and without him he would die...and he just about did too. He moaned softly at the feeling of love he was getting from Takuya. Even through all that it never dimmed. Their love for eachother had actually grown.

He could feel the sudden burst of anxiety that fluttered through his lover, but it was soon replaced with love for him... Heaven was it good to be back with him. If anything it was his love and need to see Hyde that had kept him alive throughout that year... "I wouldnt have made it through any of this without you..." He'd pulled back just enough to speak those soft words before going back to kissing him. Even though he knew he should be gettign clean and not getting arroused by his lover...

"Forgive me, I've missed you so much I almost forgot the point of this shower was to actually get clean before I steal you away to our bed." A small grin played on his lips as he looked at Hyde. His current phyisical state worried him, but it certainly didn't turn him off from him. He'd love him no matter what he looked like.

Hyde smiled. He didn't care. This was good. "Trust me...we can do both...though I wouldn't doubt it if I pass out. I haven't felt this alive in a year..." He was what kept Takuya alive...Takuya fought his way out to get back here...he was the reason his lover was even still here. That alone made his swell with love and happiness.

"I don't know if either of us would be able to handle this...but we could try." He wanted this...he'd missed this. Takuya's body pressed against his own sent chills he hadn't felt in so long down his spine. This was where he wanted to be. Not at his grave, trying to die so he could be with him.

Takuya moaned softly and kissed him again, he was going to take his lover for sure after this... It had been far to long since he'd touched him... hell since even he'd been touched that way. The Angel would have rather died a thousand times than to betray his own lover like that.

But now that he knew what was coming after this shower he was quick to finish it up while still getting just as clean if he would have taken longer. Smiling at his lover, he handed him a towel and took one for himself, carefully securing it around his own waist. And even though it probably wasn't a smart move on his part he picked Hyde up bridal style and carried him the short distance to their bed, laying him down carefully on the neat sheets. Well... they certainly wouldn't be staying neat for long. Withthat same smile still on his face he crawled over his boyfriend, "I've missed you so much... your hair... eyes... lips... that beautiful voice... you wonderful skin... everything." He'd kissed him after each listed item, "I love you and only you... forever..." Takuya's lips caught his, internally celebrating that he was lucky enough to come home and do this with his lover... His beloved Angel... His Hyde.

Hyde sighed in happiness as he felt those soft lips on his skin again. Tears were rolling down his cheeks again. He looked up into Takuya's eyes. "Please...before we...tell me this isn't a dream. Tell me I won't wake up alone and still without you...tell me you're real and here to stay because my mind has done this before and I-I can't take it one more time..." He wanted this but if he was going to wake up alone...then he didn't want it. He would rather Takuya walk out that door a dream then to have him and come to find out when he woke up that he was a dream. Hyde's heart wouldn't be able to take that again...not again. That knife would go through him if this Takuya...the one he's hoping beyond hope is real...was a figment of his subconcsious.

Takuya was kissing his neck when he felt the tears run against his cheek, he sat up and looked down at his lover with worried eyes. Hyde was scared... If this was a dream... then it would be a cruel one for both of them... But if they were both questioning it, then it couldn't possibly be right?

"No... This isn't a dream... I'm here, I'll be here when you wake up... everyday, until you just can't stand it anymore..." Though hopefully that would never happen... But that wasn't what the problem now. Now he needed to worry about proving himself real to his lover.