Your taxes...

Kanon let Mana have control and simply used the reigns to guide her every once in awhile. Miku was starting to relax. He had forgotten. When they were back at the stables, he waited. His arms were still around Miku but he didn't care so much.

"You did forget. You forgot what it was like to be free. Something's holding you back...just let it go. Let the wind take it when you ride...you can't change it. Just accept whatever it is and move on. Never forget...but don't let it pull you down. Would you like to go for another ride?" He was beginning to understand. Something happened to Miku and it involved the horses somehow. Something so terrible that he couldn't even go near them anymore. But he would have to let it go or it would eat him like a cancer. Without really waiting for Miku's reply Kanon headed back out for another ride. Mana seemed more than happy to now with Miku there.

"Let the wind take it away and just be free...even if only for a moment."

Every word sunk into him as Kanon spoke, every word hurt because it wasn't sinking in far enough. His head hung a bit more as they went out again, the wind that was supposed to take everything away just made it hurt worse. So much so that he cried silently.

"Stop..."

Mana somehow heard him and slowed to a stop, Miku jumped off and started walking back towards the stable, tears still falling freely. He didn't care, he wanted away from these horses and their freedom, but before getting too far he turned back to face Kanon, "Accept being at fault for someones death? Let the wind take away the pain of killing someone? Nothing is ever going to take that away! Not you, some horse, anything!" It was time for him to leave, he'd said too much. He'd have to avoid Kanon or send him home... either one. The dark haired teen had a boyfriend and family to worry about, it would be a good thing for him.

Miku was off the horse and running back to the house. What the hell happened to him? Kanon took Mana back to the stables and put her back. "I'll find out what's wrong...don't worry." He gave her a carrot and went to find Nana.

"Nana. What happened to Miku. Why does he blame himself for someone's death and why does he keep those horses but will refuse to ride them even if he wants to? I've never met someone so complicated before. What's the story?" He was going to find out one way or another. It had something to do with Mana. He just had to figure out what. He couldn't leave knowing those horses might be neglected again. He just couldn't.

Nana had been reading when Kanon came in just asking questions galore, obviously Miku had let something slip because Kanon more than likely trigger it... Oh well no use not telling him now. Sighing she closed her book, "Come sit down, but you mustn't tell anyone, understand?" With a simple nod she continued.

"About a two years ago... Miku was probably only 18 at the time. He'd been raising a little mare for his mum to ride and he did a fine job too. Best lookin' horse around, well... just last year Mana, the horse Miku wouldn't touch earlier, was finally given to his mom. Poor dear was just so excited to take her out... But she didn't come back for a few hours, Miku wen tout and found her, the horse had thrown her off, broke her neck, didn't feel a thing.

"That poor dear, he felt terrible... Though he hadn't trained he right. And his father, mad with grief, real unstable, blamed Miku for the whole thing. Well that didn't help him much." Fixing her apron, she continued, "Then about a month after that his father finally crack, tried to kill him in his sleep. In the struggle he accidentally killed him... I don't think he ever recovered after that, he couldn't get by with tending to those horses, too many memories he wanted to forget."

Taking his hand into her own she looked at him sadly, "You probably struck a big weak spot of him, and not a very good one. I just hope he doesn't do anything too rash."

Oh...that's...oh. Kanon nodded to Nana. He wouldn't tell anyone but there had to be a way to get Miku to just let go...Kanon went up to his room and knocked softly. Coming in he sat down on his knees in front of him.

"It's not your fault. Your mother didn't put the saddle on right. She was probably too happy about going out to realise...it was an accident. Mana is the most well behaved horse I've ever had the pleasure of overlooking. It's not your fault. Your father shouldn't have blamed you...and his death wasn't intentional. You were half asleep...stop blaming yourself. Everything happens for a reason Miku...maybe me coming here was to help you live again. This weight is killing you from the inside out. You have to let it go. It's not your fault. It's all a very bad accident. Stop blaming yourself."

He'd pulled Miku into his lap despite the fact his employer would fight him at first. But he was at a breaking point. Kanon was betting that Miku never really got a chance to grieve his parents' death. He would let him. Miku could sit in Kanon's arms and cry until he fell asleep. He wasn't going anywhere. The horses weren't the only ones that needed him...Miku needed someone too. Someone who wasn't afraid to stand against him sometimes.

Miku had been sitting on the edge of his bed when Kanon came in... Why was he here, couldn't the guy just give it a rest for a while?

But then he went on about his parents deaths... Nana told him... And to finally have someone other than Nana tell him it wasn't his fault... It was a tiny relief. Small enough that it made him not mind that Kanon was holding him. Instead he clung to his shirt and cried into his chest, "I should have checked it... If I would have... My parents would still be here, Mana wouldn't have scars, and you'd still be with your family and lover... And the other horses wouldn't have fallen into such a poor state."

There was so much blame he had carried for a year... and now that he could release it... he didn't know where to start. All he wanted was to be here crying, with Kanon no less, someone who hated him was here trying to make him feel better... He definitely owed him now.

"It was an accident. You can't keep dwelling on the what if's or should have's. It'll eat away at you till there is nothing left but an empty shell. Don't worry about me. I may not have liked coming here but I've accepted it. I'm here for a reason Miku...you can't change the past. You can only learn from it. Stop caring around guilt that doesn't belong to you. Let it go...let it go." He rocked the blonde back and forth...he reminded him quite a bit of Maya actually...Maya. So many things were changing...he had even gotten used to sleeping without him there. He had let go of Maya and his family days ago. Once he accepted the fact that he wasn't going to see them for a very long time.

Kanon was right, he needed to let it go, it didn't do anyone any good... but it would take time. But that didn't stop him from holding onto Kanon as he cried for a few more minutes, he need this...

After a while the tears had dried and now he just sounded bad, it was time to repay Kanon...

"You've only been here a week... and already you've done a lot. Thank you for that..." He was starting to like Kanon... "You've well overpaid the debts... Whenever your ready... Take Mana and go back home. If you want they'll always be a job open here for you, just you wont be forced to stay. Thank you... again." Miku wrapped his arms around Kanon and sighed, "Maybe one day, we can be friends and things wont be so odd..." He was tired... and found himself nodding off on Kanon's shoulder, until he was finally out like a light.

Kanon smiled and held Miku till he was asleep. He really was something else. Seven days and he was able to go home...laying Miku back down in his bed he covered the blonde up and kissed his forhead. "Thank you..." The dark haired teen went to the stables and took Mana to head home...but...his house was a lot less cheerful. He came into the house to find his mother at the table.

"Mom? What's wrong?" She looked up shocked but the moment she saw Kanon, her tears returned.

"Maya's father came home from the crusade...he found out Kanon." His entire body went cold...where was Maya?

"He found him here...said no son of his would disobey God in such a way...Kanon...he sent Maya away. We don't know where but he left two days ago and just got back today." He immediately left to find Maya's father. But what he was told was that Maya was on a boat out of the country. He wasn't coming back...not...coming...back. Kanon went back to Miku...he'd told his family goodbye. He was here...this is where he would stay. Dawn came and he was sitting against a tree on the grounds, crying. Maya was gone. He'd never see his lover again...that would be something very hard to let go of...if he could at all. His family he could let go easier. He knew they would be alright...but...this?

Mana had tried to get Kanon to move up to the house, but when he wouldn't she ran off to Miku's window, making all kinds of ruckus to hake him up. It worked easily, Miku was up and at his window... Something was wrong.

Running from the house, he pulled himself up onto Mana and let her take him to what was wrong. She took him to Kanon, who was balled up against a tree... "Kanon...?" Moving down from the horse, not even thinking twice about how he'd just rode one, and went to Kanon's side. He didn't know what had happened, but he did know that he needed to get him out of the cool damp air. The teens skin was cold to the touch as he scooped him up in his arms and made his way back home.

Back at his house he took Kanon back to his room and laid him down, quickly covering him and laying down next to him... "Do you... want to talk about it? I'm more than willing to listen." A comforting hand rested on his shoulder, hoping to help him somewhat.

Kanon was still crying but he let Miku carry him back to the house. The bed was warmer than outside but it all still felt so cold. "He's gone...his father came home and sent him away...he's not even in the country anymore...he's just...gone." Kanon curled up even further into himself as he said it. It was like stabbing himself...God it hurt. He curled up into a ball and just cried. Maya wasn't coming back...he'd never get to see him again...

"I never...got to say...goodbye." He'd told his lover he would be back...and now it was for nothing. His family could do fine without him. If they didn't have him to feed and the twins stepped up to help with the animals. They'd be fine. But Maya...Maya was different. He didn't even know how he was when he'd been forced to leave.

His boyfriend... "You take it easy for a couple days, I have some business to attend to." Miku leaned to place a friendly kiss to the top of his head then left. He'd have a chat with this guy and go find the person that had such a hold on Kanon... It was his fault after all... If Kanon had been home then he could have fought it.

A few hours later he was at the ex crusaders house getting all the answers he wanted and then some, Maya leaving the country had been a lie... He was still here, it was just getting to him in time now... Without any further delay, he rode to the next larger town over, tying Mana down and making sure she was being taken cared of while Miku rushed to go find Maya.

Luckily it hadn't been hard, he was sitting in a dark room waiting to be shipped off. Miku however had paid the guards off well to just let him 'escape'. Slipping into the room, he tapped his shoulder, "You..."

"Don't argue, lets go, we don't have time." Taking his hand he pulled him out of the room. There was no sense in going back tonight, they'd just take too many chances of getting hurt. Come morning though, it'd be a two hour ride back to his estate...

~mid-afternoon~

Home at last... thank god... Maya seemed a little upset and in disbelief as they rode up to the house. "Kanon is upstairs, forth door on the right." Double payment for Kanon.

Maya was sitting in a room crying silently about never being able to see Kanon again when there was the man that took him...and they were leaving? He was still completely confused when Miku told him wheer Kanon was.

"Why?...You like him. I can see it in your eyes you like Kanon the way I do...so why bring me here?" He would go up and surprise his lover but he had to know why. If it had been him, he would've kept Kanon to himself. So why wouldn't Miku keep him? Even if Kanon had cried, Maya would've kept him. Comforted him and eventually ease into it but he wouldn't have brought his lover back to him.

Maya had asked why, of course he would. Miku offered a genuine smile, "He helped me come to terms with something I though I'd never get passed. And now, I'm helping him, he's too good to let him cry over that." It was... true that Miku liked Kanon, but Maya was already his, Kanon loved Maya.

If being friends was all he could get that was okay, he didn't need any more. The other had a paying job here, and would be able to take take of his boyfriend. There wasn't much more he could do for him. "If you'll excuse me, theres a stable calling my name." He led Mana he her stall and gave her fresh food and water, but both of them were so tired that the horse laid down and Miku propped against her, both slipping into a peaceful sleep.

Kanon was still curled up in a ball when he heard the door open and felt someone come into his bed. He jerked and sat up...and there was Maya. His beautiful Maya...Miku had brought him back. He was so happy to have his love back that he didn't even realise how Miku might have felt. The rest of his night was spent with Maya...just being there with him. He was so overjoyed that in the morning he ran and hugged Miku, giving him a kiss in his happiness.

"Thank you...thank you so much..." He didn't even notice the look on Miku's face when he went to find Nana to go intorduce Maya to her.

~two months later~

Kanon had been growing quite fond of Miku and though he loved Maya he just could never get the blonde out of his head. Maya had noticed it too...and he knew what had to be done.

"Kanon? I have to talk to you..." He was ending things. Though they still loved eachother and deeply cared for one another...there was someone else that Kanon wanted and Maya wanted to see the world. So he was leaving. He'd always take Kanon with him but their time together was over...never to be forgotten but never to hold them back. Still, when Maya left...Kanon cried. He went to find Miku and ending up locating him in one of the big chairs in the library. The teen simply curled up in his lap as he let his tears go. It had to be done...they were drifting apart and their love had changed. But it still hurt to see him go. It always hurt to see someone go. But Maya was right...he did like Miku...given time...but right now he just wanted to cry and have someone hold him.

Miku had just been relaxing when the door was pushed open and Kanon came in in tears, he would have gotten up but Kanon had already planted himself in his lap. What could be wrong? Had something happened to Maya? Instinctively his arms wrapped around him and held him close, "Kanon? Hey... shh... What happened? What's wrong?"

The blonde had opened up quite a bit to the other in the past few months, but not once did he try to interfere with Kanon's relationship, instead he settled for best friend. Which was what he was doing now, comforting his friend in his time of need,

Kanon didn't say anything. He simply cried for a good half hour...then once his tears had settled he told Miku what happened. It ended in the best way it could've. They loved eachother, just not in the same way. He just wanted to know someone was there.

"Maya said to tell you goodbye...thank you...and...to give it time before you go ahead. Whatever that means. I didn't understand his coding so hopefully you knew what he was talking about. He said you would..." Kanon cuddled into Miku's neck as he started to settle down and start to accept that Maya wasn't going to be around anymore.

Maya had left because of him... In the end that was what it boiled down to... But he was willing to accept it and give Kanon time. Not that dating him right away served any high importance... Sure it'd be nice and he'd be able to fill his dieing urge to kiss him... But not right now.

"I get it... Take as long as you need... I'll be here however long." He nuzzled his head against Kanon's as he settled in to the chair, they might be there a while. Might as well get comfortable. Miku was just glad they were able to say good bye to each other this time. Now, even though it was still hard, Kanon would be able to cope with this better. "If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask..."

Kanon nodded and relaxed against Miku. It would take quite awhile to get over Maya but in time he would. He'd just have to let it go...let the wind take it away. After about three hours of sitting in the chair with Miku, Kanon figured it would be time for him to go to his room.

"Thank you Miku...you know...this whole thing of coming has turned out far better then I ever thought. I'm glad you took me." It was the truth. His life wouldn't be as good as it was now and Maya probably still would've been sent away long ago so in truth, Miku had been a very good thing. Sad thing was, he was used to sleeping with another person now...and Maya was gone. After about two hours of trying to sleep Kanon went to Miku's room and stood next to his bed.

"Miku....about that if I need anything thing..." He needed to sleep next to someone. It was too hard to sleep alone.

Miku looked up from his blankets and smiled sleepily, tossing them back he scooted over and gave Kanon room to lay down. No questions asked, he just did. Kanon would need help getting through this, including at night since now Kanon was used to someone sleeping next to him.

Without even noticing his arm laid itself over him and pulled himself closer, they were both feeling a little chilled at the moment. So this was acceptable...

Kanon smiled and crawled into the blankets. He felt himself press against Miku as he was pulled closer. He was laying on Miku's other arm but ihs own arm moved to lay next to his. Despite the fact that Maya had left earlier that day...this felt so natural. They had become really good friends and this was acceptable.

"Thank you...you're an amazing friend." Possibly a boyfriend in coming days...maybe...hopefully? Who was he kidding. It wouldn't happen. They were friends and nothing more...but it was nice to dream. Even now...he just hoped that he could find another before he did something stupid and messed up his friendship with the man he'd grown so fond of.

Miku laughed slightly and just cuddled closer, letting sleep take them both...

In the morning, he'd woken up to a rather... interesting surprise. Kanon now laid partially on top of him, while their legs and arms were a tangled mess together. Now if only they were actually together...

Nope nope... not forcing that. Pushing it from his mind he settled back in and would wait for Kanon to get up and act, he didn't want to so maybe Kanon wouldn't either?

"Cute..." he mumbled softly before slipping back to sleep.

Kanon woke up and stretched his body out only to find himself tangled up...with Miku. He smiled at himself and curled right back up with him. It was easier to let go when you had someone there to distract you...and this was the reason...at least partcially. What's done is done. He couldn't change the past...but he could determine his future...and maybe who he was with. One thing Kanon knew was he didn't want to get out of bed...not at all.

In his sleep, Miku pulled Kanon closerr to him, "Mine..." He whispered softly, as he nuzzled against the others neck, his lips just barely brushing against the smooth skin.

Nana had opened the door, but Miku simply rolled and took Kanon with him, "No... busy... the paper can wait..." It wasn't like him to be this determined to stay in bed... But well... what was next to him was so nice and tempting...

Kanon smiled at Miku's words and let himsefl be moved...it was nice. Nana had opened the door but Miku had rolled away from her and took him with him. He didn't want to get up for anything. So Kanon would allow it...though it was getting warm. There was a lake of sotrs on the property they could go swim at. Take two horses...or just one...and go riding.