What will the future bring?

Dai saw Miyavi...his poor Miyavi that wasn't really his. He looked so broken and when Miyavi admitted he had told Melody...well he was worried she knew. But no, she didn't.

"Then I won't tell her. I got back from tour and I wanted to see you. I did tell you we'd have sushi when I got back. Yoshiki says hi by the way." The look in Dai's eyes said how sorry he was for what he'd done to his friend...his crush. He could act as if nothing happened though. Or at least try. There was a tugging on Dai's pants as Melody came back in. Lovelie was standing there with the red bear he'd bought her.

"You got this for me?" The blonde guitarist smiled softly and nodded. Without much warning the little girl hugged his leg and whispered a thank you. She was so sweet...and Dai had damaged her life with what he and Miyavi had done.

"You're most welcome. I'm Dai." He moved down to her level though it didn't escape his notice that Melody was watching him closely. Lovelie showed her teethy smile as she hugged Dai again.

"Lovelie." She went back over toward her mother but kept coming back to Dai every few minutes or so. The awkward tension was getting thick but Dai was quick to mask it with sushi and conversation. He felt horrible about how things went with Miyavi and Melody...how could he help fix things?

Miyavi didn't stop touching Die's arm until Melody returned to the room. He smiled at him, a glimmer of happiness in his eyes. He wanted to be with Die so badly. He just had responsibilities. He sat down, next to Melody but across from Die. He had to stop staring at the blond guitarist. He barely spoke, instead letting Lovelie badger Die with questions. Melody looked between them and Miyavi's heart stopped. She knew.

"Miyavi, could you take the girls upstairs now?" The little ones were done eating, having only had some rice and soup. It was enough for them, though. Miyavi looked almost terrified, but he did as told.

There was a long moment of silence between Melody and Die before she spoke.

"So you're the one that stole my husband away from me..." She looked angry more than hurt. "How dare you come here and think that I'm stupid enough to let you continue. Miyavi is my husband. I know he misses his stage life, but we have two children. Two! I love him and I thought he loved me. No...I know he does...He has to..."

Dai stood up as Melody started yelling at him. He should have known she'd figure it out. But to accuse him like that even if it was true. "Now wait just a second. I didn't steal him away from you. We were drunk and it just sort of happened! Had we been sober he never would've done it. You should know that. Miyavi loves you and would never hurt you in such a way had he been in complete control. He's my friend and a dear one at that. I didn't come here to continue what we did. I came here because he's my friend and I missed. I like him more then I should, I admit it but I will not rip apart your family. Those girls need their father...but I won't turn my back on him. Miyavi's a dear friend and I won't just leave his life. Not unless he tells me to."

Dai really had no intention of continuing the affair that him and Miyavi had created. He didn't want to break apart any more of his family then he had. He wanted him...very bad, but there was no way Dai was going to let himself rip apart those girls' lives for his own desires.

"You should know how guilty he is. He barely talks to me anymore and you can see what we did effects him. It's taken it's toll on him. If you want to blame someone then blame me. I didn't push him away. I knew he was drunk and I knew he wouldn't have done what he did sober but I didn't push him away. I was greedy and wanted it...and I'm sorry. I'm sorry we hurt you...I'm sorry I hurt you."

Miyavi was coming back down the hall when he heard raised voices. He heard what Die said. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He very much cared for Die, but how could he be so selfish when he had those little girls upstairs who needed him. He knew one thing for sure. He'd still be the best dad he could be if he and Melody split up.

Melody wasn't going to accept Die's answer. "I want you to leave. Please..." She looked away from him, a silent tear falling from her eyes.

Miyavi heard shuffling and he backed away and into another room ever so quietly so he wouldn't be heard. He slumped to the floor with his head in his hands. What was he going to do? End it with Melody? She'd take the girls away from him. But Die...Die made him feel things he didn't know he was capable of. A double life was impossible, though. He had to be honest. it would ruin everything.

Dai nodded and left. He didn't even get to say goodbye to Miyavi but told her to tell him. Even texted to make sure he knew...he felt bad about it all. This was a bad idea. A week later he found himself in the studio, alone. He had stopped trying to see Miyavi since Melody was always around. Even texting didn't really work. So here he was, playing out his sadness and broken heart. The sound was so hollow and lonely. Dai wanted Miyavi. He wanted him more then he could say...more then dared think. Miyavi was married and mending his relationship with his wife.

"What have I done?"

Miyavi and Melody fought a lot, but agreed on a trial separation. Miyavi went back to his old apartment and cleaned it up to stay there for a while. He didn't know how to fix what he did to Melody and he so badly wanted to see Die. He found him at the studio, playing a sad tune. Miyavi knew what was missing. He walked in with his acoustic guitar and played along. He bit his lip, hoping Die wouldn't turn him away.

When Die stopped playing, Miyavi set his own guitar down. "Die...before you say anything..." He crawled over to him and nearly into his lap to kiss him. "I want you...and I wasn't so drunk that night that I didn't know what I was doing."

Dai saw Miyavi and even allowed himself to give into the kiss a little. He knew he shouldn't though. It would only end up hurting others more. "But you wouldn't have if you were sober. I'm sorry Miyavi. I should've told you no, no matter how badly I wanted it...we hurt her. God I want to say no..." He was weak. Dai couldn't deny he was weak. He leaned in and kissed Miyavi again. He felt that spark again. This was something he couldn't ignore. Something he couldn't just walk away from.

"I can't tell you no though...even if I tried I would give in. Would you do it again? If you were sober? Would have changed it?" Dai was so close now. The empty recording studio surrounded them in darkness. It was only them...how they kept ending up in moments like that was astounding. Dai was holding his breath, wondering if they still would've done what they did. It was because of Miyavi's advancement that Dai gave in and allowed himself a night that he'd been craving and now craved more then before.

"Die....there's something when we kiss...I can't deny it." He held onto him, refusing to break away from him. "It's something I've never felt before. I feel like...like I'm supposed to be with you. Regardless of the cost. Look, I know it makes me selfish but you're all I think about anymore. There was such a void in my life. I thought it was just because I missed the stage but there was more than that. I settled down with the wrong person. Die...please don't push me away."

He was nearly crying as he held onto him. Die asked if he would do it again and, to prove it, he straddled Die's lap and kissed him fiercely. "The only thing I'd change was how much I drank. Then you would know that I mean this and it wasn't just a drunk adventure. This is real, Die. I know you feel it, too."

Dai moaned into the kiss. This was what he wanted. What he needed. The man wrapped his arms around Miyavi and kissed him back with as much passion as he was given. "Like I said. I can't deny you anything. I do feel it. When I was with you it was like I was home. I had finally come home to where I belong. I didn't want to leave your arms but I had to go on tour and you-...you have a wife. Miyavi how are we going to do this if you're married to Melody, who hates me now by the way. What about your girls? Those sweet girls. I can't take their father away from them no matter how badly I want him." He didn't pull away though. Miyavi was there with him and Dai wasn't sure when he'd get another chance to have him there.

"But if I can have one more night...even if that's all I get Miyavi because what we want isn't always what we can have. If I can have one more night with you, I'll be happy. Stay with me tonight? Please..."

"She doesn't want anything to do with me. I think it's over between us." He sighed. That did hurt. One could say that Lovelie could have been an accident, but why would they have had a second child? He did care for Melody. His heart felt torn, but he knew this was where he belonged.

"My girls are strong. They'll learn to fight for love, that it's worth it. Isn't it? Isn't happiness and being in love work sacrificing everything?" He was scared, but Die gave him strength. His heart was racing and he wasn't sure if he was doing the smart thing. He didn't know what was right, but he knew what was in his heart.

"I'll stay with you...even if we have to keep this a secret...I love you, Die." He kissed him again, melting against him happily.

Dai smiled weakly. He felt bad about the pain that had been caused by their relationship but Dai wouldn't give it up. Not now. "Well bright side? I think Lovelie likes me. Come home with me? I want to be with tonight and I don't think we're allowed to do such things in the recording studio. At least not without being in serious trouble if we're caught." The blonde led Miyavi out of the studio and toward his apartment. He knew how it would look but he didn't care.

"Would you like some tea or coffee or something? Or would you rather just curl up?" He was nervous. Why was he nervous? Oh yeah...this was unknown territory to him but he liked it. It was a good nervous.

"I'd like that." He followed Die out of the studio, holding his hand and staying close. They walked the few blocks to Die's apartment and Miyavi worried a little. Die seemed hesitant. Didn't Miyavi just confess his feelings? What would he have to be nervous about? Die felt the same. Didn't he?

They got into Die's apartment and Miyavi smiled at the offer of tea or coffee. "I just want to curl up with you, if that's alright. Which way is the bedroom?" He asked, holding Die's hands and ready to take him to bed. It didn't even matter if they had sex. He just wanted to be close to Die and share a night with him. It would be wonderful to hold him all night.

Dai took Miyavi's hands and led him to his room. "My bedroom is right here...and my bed is right here and I...am right here." The blonde pulled Miyavi down onto the bed and kissed him softly. He loved him...oh dear god. He was falling in love with him!

"Wow...so that's what this feels like." Dai was holding onto Miyavi as he continued to kiss him. He didn't expect it to happen but here it was. And Dai found that he didn't mind. He was enjoying the butterflies in his stomach and the racing of his heart and the tingling of his skin when Miyavi touched him. God why hadn't he tried falling in love sooner?

The passion between them was so intense, Miyavi could barely see straight. It was as if he'd spent his life in a wheelchair and was now running with the wind in his hair. This was love. True, deep and everlasting. How he knew it, he couldn't explain. He just knew. This was the kind of love that he wanted his girls to fight for. Through the mess he created, he had found peace in Dai's love. Melody would eventually understand. Wouldn't she? She had to realize how real this all was.

Miyavi spent the night with Dai and they took turns worshiping each other. The sun rose and clarity came as Miyavi awoke. He knew what had to be done. It would only torture his family if he kept up a facade with Melody. This was love and his girls would learn to fight and be aware and always search for that happiness. Many people grew up with divorced parents. Miyavi would make it work. His girls were his top priority.

"Dai..." He kissed his chest to wake him. "I'm going to divorce Melody. I need to be with you."

There was honesty and fear in his eyes. He knew he was going to lose everything to get Dai, but it didn't matter if he was poor or banished from the studio. He'd fight for custody and his girls would grow up with love and more happiness than he ever thought he'd be able to show them.