What will the future bring?

Miyavi sat in the playroom with Lovelie, rolling a ball back and forth to her. She gladly rolled it back, laughing happily to be playing with her father. Miyavi loved being a dad. He truly did. Melody was a great wife and mother. He couldn't complain, but he still felt like something wasn't right. He missed the life he had on stage. Everything fell apart after a few years. Then he met Melody. He did love his wife, but he remembered what it was like to feel pleasure from another man. He'd never admit to her how he missed it.

Jewelie was propped up on a boppy near him, watching the colorful ball roll between her father and sister and laughing as Lovelie did. Jewelie suddenly started to cry and Miyavi picked her up, rocking her in his arms as he sang softly to her. Melody heard the cry and came to his aid.

Hours later, Miyavi drove into the city to the studio. He felt like recording. He didn't do much of it these days. He sat there with his acoustic guitar and strummed a melancholy tune. He was supposed to have the perfect life. Why didn't it feel that way?

Dai loved his life. The stage, the fans, his band. Everything about it screamed amazing. He often wondered how he got so lucky. Never once did the guitarist feel like something was missing. At least, until an interview happened and the woman asked if any of them had ever thought of finding a person and settling down. No, no Dai had never thought of that. He was a gypsy by all rights. He lived on the road and lived for the tours. His soul was that of a wanderer and never did he feel more at home then on a tour bus. Still, after that interview he did feel that void within him grow. He wanted someone. But the thought never crossed his mind. Not since he and Shinya had stopped messing around.

Sighing the man got up out of his rarely seen bed and went to get dressed. He was back from a tour and would be for a few weeks at least if not a few months. Idle hands were never a strong suit of Dai's so he grabbed his guitar and headed to the studio not far from his house. He was going to lay a few tracks down and see what he came up with. Only when he got there, someone was already in a studio playing.

"Well, well. If it isn't rock star Miyavi. Had the same idea as me huh?" The blonde stood in the doorway of the studio leaning against the frame. His dark jeans hugged his body nicely but coupled with the slightly loose fitting X Japan shirt he had made it look even better. Dai couldn't deny that Miyavi was good. None of the others in his band would often listen to him but Dai had an..appreciation for the man. Married with two kids and still finding time to go to a studio and record? That was a dedicated man.

Miyavi looked up at the sound of his voice, a little startled. "Oh, hi Die-san." He said with a small smile. It was nice to see another guitarist. He rarely saw anyone other than his family.

"I missed my guitar." He said, continuing to play, idly wondering if the blond would join him. He missed playing in a band. "And sometimes, I just need to get away from the girls."

He laughed a little, kind of joking. He loved his family dearly. What he said was a little bit true, though. Maybe playing the guitar more was what was missing. He needed to play again.

Dai smiled, understanding how Miyavi felt. He would definitely miss his guitar if he went and settled down. Without really asking for permission the man came and plugged in his guitar, playing along with the tune Miyavi had set. It was fun to play with another guitarist. Not that Kaoru wasn't fun but the leader of their band was definitely more...strict. He had a set way of doing things and sometimes it was breaking away from the set rules was how epic things were made. Not that Dai ever spoke about that. When they finished playing the blonde had a grin on his face.

"I've missed improv playing. It's a lot of fun. How late you going to be here? Wondering if you wanted to experiment with some new sounds. I'm not much for acoustics but it sounded pretty cool when the sound from my guitar mixed with yours."

Miyavi was glad for the improvised guitar session. He played along with Die, smiling as their tunes mixed together.

"Hey, that was pretty good. I didn't know anyone else would be here, but I'm up for some new sounds. I haven't picked up electric in a long while."

He got up and put his acoustic away. He pulled his electric guitar out of its case and plugged it in. He strummed a little, tuning it before playing a little to get his fingers and ears used to the sound of playing on an electric again.

Dai grinned and waited for Miyavi to tune his guitar before playing with him once more. The recorded sounds were amazing. He didn't even notice that they had been playing for about five hours until his phone went off. His alarm telling him that he had a party to get to in an hour.

"We lost track of time. Is your wife going to be angry you've been gone so long?" The older man looked back at the tattooed musician. He didn't even think about that. What would happen if he settled down and wanted to take a random trip to the studio to record? Would that be okeh with his whoever?

"Thanks for playing with me. It was a lot of fun. Can't deny you've got talent."

They played for hours and Miyavi was just amazed at how well they were in tune with each other. It was so great. They noticed the time and he frowned, letting out a sigh. That smile he wore when playing faded away. It was time to go back to reality.

"She won't be mad but...I should get back." He reached out to shake Die's hand. "Thank you for playing with me. It brought back a lot of really great memories. I was forgetting how much I love music."

He packed everything up and left the studio. He hoped he would catch Die there again sometime.

Dai shook Miyavi's hand but kept the hold a moment longer then needed. "The pleasure was mine. You've got a great sound to you. We should do this again sometime. Enjoy your night. Tell your family I'm sorry for taking you away so long." Though it was spoken as an apology, the smile Dai had said he wasn't really sorry about it.

Weeks went by and Dai had become fairly close to Miyavi. He was going on tour again soon and was having a party before he left. Miyavi had been invited and so had his family but due to his older child being sick they didn't make it to the party. Afterward though the blonde got some strawberry gummis and a red stuffed bear that said get well soon on it and brought them over.

"Hey Miyavi. I heard Lovelie was sick so I brought her these to help her get well. How is she?" He held up the items to show his friend. He'd never actually met Miyavi's daughters but the man wanted to make her feel better. Hopefully it would.

Miyavi really enjoyed playing with with Die. He would come to the studio and there Die would be and they would play together and Miyavi would smile like he was his old self again. It was a great few weeks. But he knew it wouldn't last. That was always a fear of his. Die would leave on tour and then never call him again when he was back. There was a party Miyavi and his family were invited to, but of course, one of the kids got sick.

Die came over late, after the party. Miyavi was shocked to see him at his door. "Die...what....oh. Thanks. Come in." He led Die into a sitting room where Miyavi had been playing a video game and having a drink. "Melody's not here. She took Jewelie and went to her mother's. Neither of them should get sick off of Lovelie. I never get sick, so I'm stuck on nurse detail. How, uh, how was your party? I'm sorry I missed it."

He was very glad to see Die. His presence made Miyavi feel better and smile like he rarely smiled anymore. Sure, he loved his kids. Lovelie was right at his side until she fell asleep and he put her to bed. He just...knew something was missing. Die seemed to make him think less and less of the void he felt.

Dai smiled and moved into the house, noticing Miyavi's entertainment of the last few hours. "It was alright. A bit boring without you though. Toshiya got drunk. Man decided to challenge Shinya to a drinking contest. Not even I can beat Shinya in a contest. Other then that it was fairly boring. I understand why you didn't. I wouldn't want Lovelie going out if she's sick. I also didn't want to leave before seeing you and getting to spend some more time with you." Though the blonde wouldn't admit it, he would miss Miyavi greatly. This was his last chance to spend time with his friend before they headed out on tour.

"You playing a game? Mind if I join in?" Dai set the things he had been holding down on the table and pointed toward the game Miyavi had been playing. He wondered if his friend had any Heineken. He didn't really drink at his party since he knew he'd be stopping by later.

"If you don't mind that is. I wanted to spend my last night in Tokyo with you. I'm going to miss you...never actually said that to anyone other then my sisters and mother..."

"Really?" Miyavi smiled happily and went to fetch some more beers.

They played his video game for a while, laughing and drinking and enjoying each other's company. Miyavi had quite a bit to drink and was leaning all over Die after a while.

"I'm surprised you came over. Most people forget about me because I don't show up on the scene as much anymore. I so badly miss playing. Thanks to you, I've been able to know what that was like again."

He leaned in closer, staring at Die's pleasant features. "So, thanks." He gave him a quick kiss, but then lingered at his lips and made a pleased sound. He sat up better and kissed Die again, slipping an arm around him to keep him from pulling back. Miyavi needed this.

Dai gladly took the beer and started playing the video game. Miyavi was good but so was he. When they had stopped the guitarist leaned over toward. "I could never forget you..." His lips met Miyavi's in a soft peck. At first Dai thought he was hallucinating but then Miyavi leaned in closer and kissed him again. Somewhere in the blonde's mind he knew this was wrong. Miyavi was married with two kids...yet he couldn't stop himself from kissing back.

"Your welcome..." Dai found his back against the couch as the pair continued their make out session. He hadn't thought this was an option. Sure, Dai liked guys and yeah, he liked Miyavi more then he probably should but he'd always thought Miyavi was straight and the fanservice he did on stage with men was just that, fanservice. It was wrong, Dai knew it was wrong....so why couldn't he pull away?

Miyavi just couldn't stop kissing Die. His lips tasted so good against his own. Miyavi moaned and ran his hands along Die's sides, loving the way he shuddered under his touch. It was so different to be with another man. Thrilling, too. He so badly wanted to lose control.

"Die..." He whimpered his name as they broke their kiss for air. Miyavi was straddling his lap now and kissing at his neck, his hands drifting under his shirt. He probably never would have done this sober, but it felt too good to stop now.

"Give me a night to remember?" He asked breathlessly, grinding down against him.

Dai gasped when Miyavi grinded against him. A night to remember huh? Getting up, Dai captured his friend's lips again in a searing kiss before leading him down the hall to the bedroom. He pushed Miyavi down onto the bed before crawling over him.

"You have the items I need yes? Because you ask me to do this again and you don't have them you may be hurting quite a bit more then usual in the morning..." The guitarist was removing Miyavi's shirt, kissing a trail along his tattoos as he did. This wasn't what he'd planned at all. He hadn't even dared think of this because of how bad things could get. At the moment he didn't care. Miyavi wanted him and he wanted Miyavi. That's what mattered. Once the lube was in his hands Dai finished stripping Miyavi before taking his own clothes off. He was definitely going to give Miyavi a night he wouldn't forget. Last night in Tokyo and he was taking a married man to bed.

Miyavi couldn't believe it was actually happening. Die was gorgeous and so very talented and now he was here, in his bed, ready to fuck him senseless. Miyavi moaned and let his clothes fall to the floor. He spread his legs and reached out to run his hands along Die's sides as he came closer. Miyavi so badly wanted to feel him. He so desperately needed to know what he was missing.

He gave him lube and laid back against the pillows with his legs spread. "The pain would be worth it, Die." He said with a smirk. Who wouldn't want the blond guitarist in their bed? They were both naked now and rubbing against each other. Miyavi couldn't hold back the moans.

"Please..." He muttered. "Please, Die...I need you." he reached down to stroke Die's erection, gasping at the girth of him. Oh, he so badly wanted to feel him.

Dai's slicked fingers were prepping the man beneath him, searching for that spot that would have him moaning like no other. He was relishing this...the feel of Miyavi. The sound of him. The beauty of him all laid out before him. Oh he was going to make sure Miyavi felt this in the morning. When Dai saw the musician's back leave the bed he knew he'd found that spot. Once found, the man abused it mercilessly. Dai even went down on Miyavi to give him the added stimulation.

All at once though he pulled away, applying lube to his own aching member. Dai waited only a moment before pulling Miyavi to him and encasing himself in the tight heat of his body.

"Ah...god you feel good..." His lips found Miyavi's once more as he waited for the man to adjust to him. His body was singing in happiness. This was way better then what he imagined going on tonight and even better then he thought it would be to have Miyavi. Not that he ever dwelled on the topic long. Slowly, the blonde started to move, enjoying the way his friend felt. Oh this was going to be one hell of a night. He just hoped Lovelie didn't wake up in the middle of their romp.

Miyavi was a moaning, writhing mess. Die made him feel like he never thought he could again. He nearly screamed as Die's fingers abused his sweet spot. His back arced and he moaned loudly and wantonly. He needed more. Everything Die was doing, each sensation, was intense and he needed more.

Finally, Die was sheathed inside him. Miyavi panted and rocked his hips, pulling Die in by his neck for another searing kiss. There was a lot of passion between them and Miyavi was savoring each second. He never wanted it to end.

Slowly Dai picked up his pace, taking hold of Miyavi's hips as he did. Not even Shinya had felt this good. He continued to pound into the body beneath him, angling himself to hit Miyavi's prostrate again. Once he did there was no way he was going to let up on it. The sensations were indescribable. Dai had never been so turned on or so lost in pleasure before. This was something...something more then just sex though neither would probably admit it.

"Fuck...so close. Scream for me Miyavi. Tell me how good it feels." It was almost ecstasy for Dai. The heat, the constricting tightness. It made him want to never stop. To just fuck Miyavi into next week. He knew they wouldn't be able to. Both were about at their limit. He didn't care; it was too good to stop or slow down.

"Oh god!" Miyavi was clinging to Die's back, his nails leaving little crescent shaped marks. He rocked his hips, moving with Die's thrusts. It felt more incredible than Miyavi could have imagined. He hadn't had sex this good in a very long time. If ever, even. Nothing really felt as good as what Die was doing to him.

"I'm so close, Die. It feels so good. So fucking good. Don't ever stop. Oh god..." Miyavi couldn't take it anymore and he screamed as he came, his seed a hot pool on his abdomen. It was amazing. He was a a panting mess and he could barely see, but he kept rocking his hips, desperate to feel Die's hot essence inside him.

Dai felt Miyavi's climax as his body constricted around him fiercely. It was only a few more thrusts and Dai was over the end, filling Miyavi and coating his walls with his seed. It was only then that it occurred to the older man that they had forgotten the condom which still laid on the nightstand.

"I can't remember...it ever being that...amazing." Dai had all but collapsed on top of Miyavi. He didn't care. They were well spent and fully satisfied. He was at least. The blonde smiled at him and kissed his friend once more before pulling.

"You are one hell of a fuck...we may need to clean up though..." Shower perhaps some more fooling around. Who knew. Dai did however notice that he had a plane to catch in two hours. Well at least all his stuff was packed and in Shinya's car.

"Two hours before I have to go. What do you want to do?"

Miyavi was spent and thoroughly satisfied. He forgot how amazing it was with another man. He hugged onto Die, refusing to let him out of his arms. Even though they were both a sweaty mess, Miyavi didn't want it to end.

"So tired..." He whined, but got up to join Die in the shower. After a little more fooling around, it was time for Die to leave. Miyavi was sad and he was clinging to him as they shared a last kiss.

"You said you will miss me, right? You won't forget about me, will you?" Miyavi looked so scared and hopeful. He just had this gut feeling that Die would go off on this tour and never speak to him again. They were friends, sure, but now they just crossed the line into something else. Miyavi's heart was racing. He didn't know what the future would bring.

Dai was standing at the door and ready to leave but Miyavi was afraid he'd forget about him. In one fluid motion Dai moved back inside and had closed the door by pushing Miyavi against it. He pulled the man into a passionate kiss, letting his lips linger afterward.

"Never. I will never forget about you Miyavi..." Dai placed one more butterfly kiss on Miyavi's soft lips before stepping out into reality. He met his bandmates at the airport and only Shinya noticed his sad face.

"What's wrong Dai? You're always excited to go on tour."

"Just leaving someone behind this time. It's odd...I don't want to leave him." Shinya nodded, understanding how he felt. Once they were on the ground again the blonde texted Miyavi immediately.

You don't regret it do you? What we did.

Miyavi was taken away by that kiss. Die had such strength behind him that Miyavi was sure he could never possess. He was always weak. Die left and Miyavi had to face reality. He just cheated on his wife, in the bed they shared. Guilt pressed down on him. With tears in his eyes, he cleaned up, changing the sheets and washing them and making it look like it never happened. He cried, though. He was conflicted and all he could think about was his two little girls and how this whole situation would affect them. Did his own happiness matter, now that he was a father? Shouldn't it matter? Shouldn't Miyavi be happy?

Die sent him a text and Miyavi bit his lip, hesitating before sending a reply.

Never

He didn't regret it. But what was he supposed to do now? Die would be gone for a while. Could he lie to Melody and just act like it never happened when he knew, in his heart, that he so badly wanted to be with him instead of her?

Dai breathed a sigh of relief at the text. Miyavi didn't regret it. He couldn't bring himself to regret it either no matter how guilty he was. Miyavi had a wife and kids. Two little girls that needed and depended on their father and a wife who did love him deeply. Dai had thrown a wrench in that perfect family but he wouldn't regret that night. He couldn't.

The tour lasted for months and Miyavi and him didn't text much due to the time differences but he was home now. In the same time zone and same city. He wondered if he should visit...yeah. He brought over a ton of sushi from his favorite restaurant. He knocked on the door and smiled brightly. He was such a stupid fool for doing this but he had to see Miyavi.

"Oh, hi. You must be Melody. Miyavi's told me all about you. I promised him sushi when I got back from tour but I figured you might like some too so I brought some for the whole family. I'm Daisuke by the way. You can call me Dai. Is Miyavi home?" Melody, the wife, had answered the door. Luckily Dai had been intending to bring enough just in case she was there but meeting her still threw him off guard. This might have be a bad idea.

He had to tell her. She saw the guilt in his eyes and knew something was wrong. She knew something had been wrong for months. Miyavi wasn't happy and now...he was guilty. Miyavi confessed to sleeping with another man. He didn't tell her it was in their bed and he didn't tell her it was Die. He just confessed to cheating. Melody was angry, hurt, broken. But they had to carry on, for the children. She just wasn't ready to forgive him.

Miyavi was so wracked with guilt, it was evident in the way he stood and looked at the ground. He didn't sleep much and he couldn't bring himself to return to that bed with Melody when all he could think about was how Die rocked his world there. He slept in a guest room, instead. Melody knew it was over. She'd lost him, somehow.

They still maintained face, even though Miyavi barely went out in public anymore. A visitor came for him and Melody showed Die in. "Sushi, great. Something I know he'll eat." She laughed, trying to play it off as a joke, but she was very worried about the toll all the guilt was taking on her husband. "Right this way, Die. I'll go get him."

Melody left Die in the dining room and went upstairs to where Miyavi was playing with the girls. "We have a guest for dinner. Will you all come downstairs now?" The girls ran off to their mother and Miyavi followed behind, walking as if a robot, following orders and going through the motions with no feeling. He entered the dining room and gasped at what he saw. "Die..."

Melody went off to get some dishes and drinks and Miyavi went up to Die. "What are doing here?" He was almost crying. The way he was touching Die's arm, however, was a clear sign that he wanted nothing more than to be in his arms. "She knows, Die, but not that it was you..." He bit his lip, defeat clear on his features. What was he supposed to do now?