But what if...

Miku sighed as he stood at the edge of the lake, Quiesco was oddly peaceful for how torn up he felt. The breeze was blowing softly, the sun shone brightly, and even the freaking birds were chirping happily? How was this even fair when he felt everything should feel like hell freezing over... He felt more like Kanon now, not wanting people around him and just to sulk and be quiet... yet part of him desperately wanted to reach out to someone and cry his hart out to them...

But who? Naoki thought thy should break up, Kanon had told him to fuck off, all those people he thought were friends couldn't offer any good advice other than drinking or having sex... Who else did he have but himself?

Good weather in England was rare, so Takeru was out enjoying it. That is until he saw Miku standing out by the lake, his eyes gazing out colding over the warm scenery... It reminded him so much of himself before hide-zou... and then him after hide-zou died. It was the worst feeling ever, and not something one should go through alone.

"Hey Miku. Why the long face?"

He stood next to his friend and put an arm around his shoulders, letting him know he there if Miku wanted to talk. God only knows how many times the blonde had been there for him while he was going through his problems...

And there was Takeru... He gave him a poor excuse for a smile and leaned in on him a bit, feeling a bit more at ease. "Just life I guess... I've been hanging around Kanon more, I think his out look on life has rubbed off on me..."

The blonde took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "... And Naoki is thinking we wont work. But in Kanon's eyes it makes me an idiot to be depressed about that... I just don't know anymore Takeru. It was so easy when Kanon wasn't there but... I couldn't picture it any other way now."

Now where had he heard this before... Oh right, in his own head. Better share his wisdom, "It was the same for me with hide-zou... We were complete opposites, and by all rights should have never been friends. But we were... and even though I didn't like it really, I didn't want him to go. I certainly never wanted him to die..."

Takeru stared out over the lake, how many tims did hide-zou and him do this? Just stare out and enjoy life... "...When you get something like that... you truely don't understand or appreciate it until its too late... It didn't hit me until hide-zou's death... just how much I really cared for him... It was more than just friends for sure." Time to lighten the mood though, and joking on Naoki always worked.

"You know~ I think you look better next to Kanon. Naoki just seems to like to pull your strings just a bit roughly."

Takeru had never really spoke this much about hide-zou to him... maybe he was finally coming to terms with everything. He was glad for him... but what he said made a lot of sense. But the problem was he didn't know who such advice should be given to... He knew what he was losing with Naoki... and with Kanon... he'd be losing one of his best friends.

"With... Kanon? But... he told me to fuck off earlier... I'm being too black and white with love he says... I love Naoki though, I know that I do, but that obviously isn't returned fully from her." Miku moved to sit down, tugging Takeru with him, "I think anything I had with Kanon was just thrown away 2 hours before this..." And 2 hours before this he told Kanon he didn't need him or his attitude...

It was easy to see how lost Miku was in all of this, hell he'd been with that girl for three years and gave everything he had and then some to keep her happy... And someone like Kanon truely didn't belong in his world. Miku was happy and opptomistic while Kanon was much like himself, cold, unchanging, and a loner.

"Well... If you mean anything to him he'll come around. But if he doesn't... Well for one it just wasn't meant to happen and that there are better people out there for you to devote yourself to."


Takeru's arm stayed around Miku, he knew the other needed comfort now, he didn't need to turn cold like him afterall.

"But I don't know if he's what I want! I care about him yes, and Kami knows how hard I've tried to make him see that there is more than what he sees in the world. But every time I think I'm close he blows up and tells me to fuck off, I don't mean shit to him! I never have, and I never will!" And he broke down, sobbing into his knees and not giving a damn who saw or heard... It hurt. All of this hurt so god damn much and all he'd ever tried to do was be nice to Kanon.

It all ended the same way though, in tears. That's how it ended with Naoki, and that's how it would end with Kanon.

Takeru let him vent and cry, he just rubbed his back and let him know it was okay, that he was there and would be there... Miku had done this for him, and now he would help him. One thing was for sure though, he was going to be having a little heart to heart with Kanon. He had to know what he was doing to Miku... Maybe hearing it from a fellow bastard would open his eyes...